The Life of Elizabeth Tudor

Myself

The following days in the household was bleak at best, with the execution set at court most of my time was taken by reading, walking around the grounds and feeling sorry for myself. I could not help it, finally a mother figure and a connection to my real mother... I knew it would be too good to be true. While away from the court I took this time for myself allow myself to feel sad not put up a front which is required at court. The household all took it upon themselves to try to cheer me up, the ladies in waiting would try to read to me or invite me into their games. The cooks would try to comfort me with all kinds of food, and poetry was read to try to lift my spirts. That was not what I wanted so I refused all these actions and clung to my letters from Katherine Howard.

One morning it was still early as I walked along the river bank mesmerised by the fog still clinging to the surface of the shinning water, I did not notice a messenger running along the path towards me. I already knew, the act has been complete leaving me to wonder if this is the fate all the adventurous women in this family, to die at the hand of another. Except of course Aunt Mary Boleyn, my mother's sister, whom I have not seen since I was a baby. I am told that she is still alive and well with children of her own even those who belong to the King my father... what does that make them to me. I am not supposed to talk of such things but I cannot help but wonder.

Currently I am being taught by all the highest professors there are, with a strict learning in religion which was requested by my father himself. My ladies say it is due to my sister Mary being of Catholic religion still, he is determined I shall not be. It is this after all which allowed my mother to be Queen, but I cannot help but wonder how many people got hurt in the process. Is it not the crowns duty to protect the public and serve in their best interests, what I see is my father working in his interests of who he wants as his next bride not in regard to the public?

A few days pass and the roomers already are starting of whom my father shall next take to be his bride, I pay no attention. Still dressed in my black dresses my maids ask of me if it is not time yet to stop wearing black as so many have. They did not have the connection to the Queen that I did so how could they understand, yet the mourning period must come to an end at some point.

My dear brother is doing well and I am told that he is the jewel of the court, admired by all the prince who has been long awaited. At the focus of the court every aspect of his life is exhibited, from his clothes to his new learning skills. And of course who shall next be the mother of this young boy, whoever marries the King the next will affect our brother more than it will me that I am sure off. For one I am not at court unless requested to be there so my presence will not be factored and the fact he is younger than I am, now I am learning several languages and have a much higher education than most I am in no need of a mother.

The seamstress comes in today so take more measurements as I grow to make more clothes for me, green and blue, red and purple ready for any occasion. I am to be presented from now as a young lady gone is the little child who needs to be constantly looked after... I don't need anyone but myself.