FORT KNOX: THE PERFECT HEIST

CHAPTER 4

                                            The Pretence
     The sun beat down its hottest rays I could ever recall feeling. The dust filled every orifice so that a mask had to be worn just to breath in clean air. Lizards ran about as if searching for every drop of water, but there's little to be had, except for that used by Mudder and his mud mixing crew.

   The searing heat is more than most men could bare but our roustabouts paid no attention to such trivial matters as heat. They left the moaning to such as fags and office boys to cry to their mothers over. If ever men earned their bonus, its these men. I ordered three ice-cold cans of beer to be passed around each man every hour, on the hour. In heat like this the crews would not get drunk, yet too much water could kill a man. Few knew about this hazard, that beer is much safer then any amount of dihydrogen monoxide, any day. That's why men drink beer, not because they like it.

     Meanwhile, the ladies entered my cabin, each dressed in tight cut-down J.C. Penney denims, tight cleavage filled T-shirts and cowboy boots. Phew! Even the AC could not cope with this sight and shut down. We have our own AC service team on site, good electricians, or sparks, as we call them, with every conceivable spare part known to man. The call for a spark went out, and, within half a second, three electricians were in the cabin, eyeing up the ladies. What a pity for the night-shift spark, fast asleep in his bunk; but he is married, so it didn't matter that he couldn't observe this wonderful sight.

    "Err, boys," said I, motioning toward the non functioning the AC machine. The muttering of 'thank you ma'am' as the men tipped their hard-hats to the females, leaving the cabin to start working on the guts of the AC machine, outside, echoed about, as is the giggling inside. My noticing the batting of eyelids said something for one of the handsome sparks. It's time for the girls to take, each in turn, a shower and freshen up. I sat down to write an email report to my superiors that all work had ceased while repairs were being made to both the water pumps, as one had failed, the other having taken the load for both of them failed too, whereupon welding, bearings and seals needed to be replaced, so all work had to cease until said repairs were finished. That's my excuse to give the crews time off to shower and get ready for a Bar-B-Q, and, perhaps, some dancing with the girls. Yup, we are going to party.

    I know what a hangover is, but not one like this. Phew! This is the mother of them all, I can tell you. Not that I'm much or a drinker, more that we all enjoyed the evening that turned into a night of drunken wild dancing and singing. I guess we made more noise than the rigs in full swing, on their own. I woke up in my comfortable swinging office chair. My head is laid upon the desk, my hand still gripped a long emptied whisky tumbler that fell to the floor and loudly rattled like a burst of machine-gun fire in my head. Bodies lay strewn everywhere, with two ladies missing, presumably they might have been entertaining or being entertained elsewhere. There were snores and groans, yet my olfactory system detected the aroma of coffee freshly percolating, slurping and hissing away. I then sensed the audible sizzle of sausage and bacon being cooked, then voices, not male; men only cook when absolutely necessary.

    "I noticed you stirring, sweet-love," said, Sheila, my wife. What is she doing here? "I drove up here when I got the call from Mary, Ben's wife, to meet her here. "I'm so glad you're behaving yourself. The temptation must have been very great," said my British born wife. "I arrived at 2:am and the party is still swinging. You were out of it, so I enjoyed line dancing with everyone. Had a couple of hours sleep, showered, then Mary and I started coffee and such. Could you manage a full English breakfast?" I nodded, then took myself off the the lavatory to do my thing and to freshen up. Perhaps I'm slow, but upon my return, the men and the ladies – minus two, were sat around the now extended table, filling their faces.