My Love for You Will Never Die: Matthew Daddario

Typical fights and Secrets

All night the thoughts clouded my mind. Does he feel something for me? Or is he just trying to repair our friendship? I toss and turn. I debate on going knock on his door, I mean he came here last night, but what if Dom answers. How awkward would that be? I could text him.. Oh wait, no I can't. I don't have his number. The night continues and so do my thoughts. I need sleep, I have two interviews tomorrow. I sigh and keep turning and tossing and eventually I fall asleep. I am woken by my alarm clock blaring and I get up to take my shower. The water is warm and doesn't really wake me up. After I am done with my shower, I blow dry and straighten my hair, and I put on nice clothes and makeup. When I am finished I leave out of my apartment and go to the elevator. When I get to the lobby, I check my mail and I head to my first interview.

My first interview seemed to go well and the school is really nice. I have another interview as well.

After my second interview, I head back to my apartment and as I go to open my door , the neighbors door opens and out steps Dom, Matt, and a redhead that is also on the show. A ping of jealousy washed over me.
"Hey, Ave this is Kat!" Matt says and then continues, "Kat, this is Ava, my neighbor and bestfriend." I just smile and wave.
"Well we are heading out, bye Ava." Matthew says and Dom adds a bye. I wave and walk into my apartment and plop on the couch. I guess I shouldn't be jealous, he just looks so happy with them. I don't even know why this is bothering me because I knew it wasn't always going to be "Matt and Ava". I'm living in a fantasy that he would fall in love with me, but i just don't think that is going to happen.

Again, as soon as I doze off something interrupts and this time it is a knocking at my door. I open it to reveal Em. "Hey girl. Sorry I just stopped by, but do you wanna come to our set? I get super bored when we are in between takes and I want someone fun to talk to" she keeps rambling until I interrupt her "I don't know, Em. It might be awkward."
"Why? It shouldn't be. You know me, Matt, and Dom"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Come on!"
We make our way to their studio. Is this even allowed? I assume it is if she asked me to come. I just feel like an intruder. When we arrive, Em introduces me to Isaiah, Harry, and Alberto. They are all pretty cool, but honestly through all of this I'm trying to avoid Matt. I know that if I see him I will ask him questions about Kat.

But with my luck, avoiding just doesn't cut it. I run into Matt.
"Oh my gosh, Ava! What are you doing here?" He questions.
"Em invited me. I just feel really awkward and out of place."
"Don't. Everyone here is friendly. Why did you look so upset this morning? Come in my trailer so we can talk."
"Is there anything going on with you and Kat? I'm just curious." I blurt out not even meaning to.
"Nothing is going on with us? Why would you think that?" He asks almost sounding aggravated.
" I don't know. But you really don't have to get mad."
"I'm mad because you always go around assuming things."
"Oh my gosh, Matt. It was a simple question! Why are you getting so defensive?!"
"Just go. Ava, please just go." My heart sinks as I walk out of his trailer with tears in my eyes. In all honesty, I don't know what just happened. It was just a question. I run into Em on my way out.
"Ava, where have you been? What's wrong?" She asks.
"Nothing. I'm just going to take a cab home. Thanks for bringing me, Em. I'll see you later." And I walk out of the studio to find a cab.

When I arrive back at the apartment, I break down in tears. Honestly, I haven't cried in a long time. Especially over Matt, I should have known. I should have known not to fall back into his trap. I was doing so freaking good without him. I learned to cope, I learned to get over the hurt, but now all of that pain and hurt came rushing back. So I guess I never really got over it, I just pushed it so far down hoping that it would never resurface. My phone starts to ding with my text tone.
Em: Hey Ava. I don't know what really happened, but I do know it's between you and Matt because he's upset right now. I hope you are okay.

Ava: I'm fine. Just done with all of the bs.

Em: I understand. Call me if you need anything.

Matt falling in love with me is such an unrealistic goal. My heart aches as I think about losing him again.

I am sitting on my couch watching The Vow. What a freaking great movie to watch when I'm sad. I heard Dom and Matt laughing outside of my door. Em said he was sad, but he doesn't sound sad. I continue watching the movie when I hear a knock on my door. I look out of the peephole to see Matt. I weigh my options: I could open the door, but I know I'll forgive way to easily. Or I could not and let him go on with his life.
"Ava, come on I know you are in there. Please open the door." I hear his muffled voice from the other side. If I can hear him, then he can hear me.
"No, Matthew. Just go." I say repeating his words.
"Ava. Please. I'm sorry."
"How many times do I have to tell you that sorry doesn't cut it anymore?"
"Please, let me make it up to you. Just please open the door." To cave or not to cave runs through my head.
I sigh and open the door to see Matt standing there. He grabs me in a tight hug.
"Please don't, Matthew."
"Have you been crying. Ava, don't cry over me. I'm not worth it."
"You are worth everything to me, Matthew." He kisses my forehead.
"Let me stay."
"I don't know if that is a good idea."
"Please." And like always I cave. "Okay."
We lay in bed and I can't help, but want to know what he meant the other night. Like love me as a friend or more?
"What are you thinking?" He asks with a worried look.
"Matt, I need to ask you something."
"Shoot."
"What did you mean the other night? When you said you loved me."
"You heard that? I thought you were sleeping."
"Please be honest with me."
"I mean, I've always loved you. You were and are my bestfriend. Of course, I love you."
"Oh." Was all I could say. Why the hell did I let myself think it could be something else.
"But do you want me to let you in on a little secret?" He asks and I nod.
"I'm in love with you too." And with that my world stopped. I looked up at him with wide eyes and saw my very favorite smile and he says "okay. You are smiling, but I'd really like it if you'd say something because I'm kind of freaking out."
"I'm in love with you too, Matthew."