Raising My Niece

Saying Goodbye

Chapter Five... Saying Goodbye

Four days had passed since we'd learnt that Addison would live with us.

Marcus had spent those days distracting his thoughts by packing up everything we owned ready to move into our new apartment. Through the chaos of everything, Marcus rang the realtors and informed them that we wanted the apartment. I hadn't seen it yet, because I'd been too busy.

Between raising an orphan and helping to plan my sister's funeral, I hadn't really had any time to look at the place I'd soon be living in. 

Funeral... the word depressed me, but it didn't seem real.

I still kept expecting Jodie and Luke to walk through the door and tell us it was all a joke. But that wasn't going to happen. I had already picked out their coffins. Elegant and white, they would be buried side by side. And when we bought the plots, we bought out an entire section of the cemetery. Seems a bit morbid, yes. But I was adamant that when Addison's time is up, she be buried right next to her parents.

And everyone else agreed.

The hardest thing was that Addison kept asking about her mom. I'd almost cry everytime she'd ask when her mommy was coming to get her. Then once again, we'd have to remind her that they would never come to get her, and that she lived with us now.

The tears that glistened in her eyes just broke my heart.

Out of everything since I'd learnt that Jodie and Luke had died, today was to be the hardest. I hated funerals at the best of times, but I wasn't ready to let go. I was going to my sister's funeral, and only then would it be real.

So this was painful. Tears stung my cried-out eyes once again. Seems like all I ever did these days was cry.

Knowing that today was such a big day hurt. As I stood in front of the mirror in our bathroom, I slowly applied makeup to my face. Perfection overcame me, and I made sure the creamy foundation was even, the mascara was thick. My eyeliner was dark, making my eyes stand out. Definitely would match with my black outfit. The worst colour in the world, black. Made my already pale skin look albino.

Once I was satisfied with my makeup, I straightened my hair. Dead straight, using the straightener repeatedly over every single strand of hair. I usually wasn't this pedantic about my looks, but today it mattered.

Well to me, anyway.

I wore a knee-length black dress that I had always loved. But after today, it would return to the closet, never to be worn again. My black heels were shiny, and I slid them gently over my stockings. It was summertime, and I was dressed in black. It wasn't right.

Moving from our bedroom, I slowly walked downstairs into the living room. Marcus sat there silently with Addison. It wasn't right to see the happy, playful two year old who usually wore bright clothes wearing a black dress and black shoes, and not saying a single word.

As young as she was, Addison knew exactly what was going on.

"Today is gonna suck," I sighed, sinking onto the lounge beside Addison.

"Yes," Addison agreed, frowning and looking at her shoes.

"Once it's over, we can remember all of the beautiful memories they left us with, Pheebs," Marcus tried to be positive. "And I can't wait for it to be over."

"Tell me about it," I breathed. "But we're still going to have an empty hole in our hearts, Marc. That's not something we can change."

"No, we can't," he frowned. "Life's a bitch sometimes."