Saying i love you (les twins larry bourgeois fanfic)

Chapter four:the story of my life

"It all started when I was 21,I was still the same just more wild and carefree,at the time my dad was going threw cancer and laid on his death bed in the hospital.i never went to see him and I hate myself for it and because of that I needed a distraction.i stayed out at a club one night and Jaime was there.he was hella sexy but that was it.he took me home after he got me drunk.we had sex,he wasn't my first but he wanted me to be with him and he stopped at nothing until he got me.when he did he treated me like a queen,like I was worth something and I admired him for that.a couple months into our relationship he would yell at me for little things i did and I always would change to make him happy and emotionally I always wanted to cry.he started getting physical and demanding.he punched me for not washing his clothes.my eye was so swollen I couldn't see."

I paused when I felt Larry tense.i looked up at him and he stared off into space.he cut his eyes to look at me.

"Continue belle" his words soft spoken

"Makeup couldn't cover what he had done so he made me stay in the house.after it went away,he came home drunk one night and beat me and kept hitting me until I couldn't stand.then he dragged me up the stairs to the bedroom and had his way with me and screaming didn't help.i had no freedom,I couldn't do anything.he took everything I loved and turned my life to hell.getting hit once a month turned into a beating every night and molestation after.i felt like a whore and that no one cared.through everything he did he still made me feel like his everything but I knew it was a lie.i lost weight because he said I was fat,wore pounds of makeup cause he said I was ugly,and dressed slutty because he said I dressed like a old woman.he hurt me in every way"

I paused at the tears rolling down my face and me remembering all the punches and how I flinched every time he walked near me.the sound of his fist connecting to my face.

Larry hugged me tightly and encouraged me to go on.

"A year later.all the times he raped me without protection caught up with me.I found out I was pregnant and i didn't know what to do.i didn't want my baby to see what I had to go thru everyday.i told him and he stopped hitting me and was there for the baby but when I gained a bump he slowly got back into hitting me no matter how many times I told him not too.he even tried to drown me in the tub.i had to lie to the doctors and tell them I fell asleep in the tub.when I was 6 months,I found out I was having a son.i was happy and Jaime was happy.for the first time in those two years.when we got home I had motion sickness so I laid down and went to sleep.i woke up out my sleep screaming due to him hitting me.i stayed up that night trying to keep from getting hit but I started feeling the need to push and I yelled for him to take me to the hospital which he did and I went into labor"

My vision blurred at the heart breaking,cold blooded,crucial experience.he killed my son,our child.

"When I gave birth.he didn't cry,he was silent.something was wrong with his lungs and he died in my arms when they cut the umbilical cord.they let me say bye to him.he was so little.adrian would've been his name.adri and Adrian,a mother and son thing.after that happened,I had enough of Jaime.i ran away,I couldn't take losing my son and being abused every day.that's the story of my fucked up past"

I told them,ending it in a trembling voice.do you know how much Hurt that overcame me when I didn't hear my baby cry.he didn't cry which meant something was wrong and to have him die in my arms.it does something to me just talking about it or to even remember,blaming myself for it.i hated myself for it.

They didn't say anything.i looked at maya.she was crying and even though lau tried to comfort her,he was crying himself.i felt bad for making them cry.i forgot that I was crying.

"Where was I" maya asked clearly blaming herself for this

"Dont blame yourself maya,It's not your fault" I said pulling her to me.

She cried on my chest.the sight so heartbreaking,she was so hurt.

"I could've saved you and Adrian.he would still be here if it wasn't for me.i never tried to see what was going on.adri I'm sorry"

"No.shut up.i don't want to hear you blaming yourself for this when none of its your fault."

She sat up and looked at me.she nodded even tho I could still see how much she's blaming herself.i sighed and stood up and went into my room collapsing on he bed climbing under the covers balling.i wished I never went thru that.it made me depressed.

I felt someone lay beside me and hugged my body close to their's.

"Is fine baby.i never do anything to hurt you.i treat you better than him and you will be happy baby.i care for you,my love.everything is going to be oki.you are my queen and I will treat you like a queen."

I smiled threw my tears and turned and snuggled into his chest.something wet hit my forehead.i looked up at him.he had tears too.i kissed him,wiping away his tears.

"It's ok baby.i know you wouldn't do anything to me" I said trying to comfort him

He gave me a weak smile as I returned him one.my day has been a mix of emotions.

"Sleep now belle,i'll always be here when you wake up"

He said kissing my forehead.

I nodded slightly and closed my eyes going into a horrible nightmare.

**

I wake up panting from my dream breaking out into cold sweats lightly shaking ready to cry.i shakily took the covers off of me.i walked into the kitchen looking at the time on the stove.

Only 4 a.m..i grabbed a pot filed with water,put it on the stove and sat on the counter.i found myself staring at the stove lost in thought.

I dreamed about Jaime hitting me again and pulling out a gun on me.there was a loud shot and I woke up.it felt like he was still here watching me in the shadows,waiting for an opening.

Larry came from the back wiping his face.he didn't have on a shirt.not saying a word he came and stood between my legs hugging my waist.

I buried my face in his chest.

"Couldn't sleep" he asked

"No" I mumbled

"Want to talk about it" he asked

I thought about it for a second but declined it.

"No baby" I said

"Why aren't you sleep" .I felt on his chest.

"Cuz I can't sleep without you.i was lonely" he said lifting my face

I looked him in the eyes.

He softly kissed me licking my bottom lip.I let him in.his tongue invaded my mouth tasting every inch of me.i tried to keep up but his skilled lips took complete control.he pulled back and teasingly kissed my neck.

"You can tell me anything baby,i'll listen and comfort you.that's my job"

I smiled and jumped down from the counter walking over to the hot pot of water.i got some teabags out the cabinet and dipped it into the water adding sugar.larry held onto me making me feel safe.i guess right now I needed it.i needed all of what he was giving me.

"Want some babe"

"Nope"

I poured myself some blowing it as I walked with Larry glued to me back in our room.

I laid ontop of his chest.he held me tightly and kissed my forehead.my cheeks burned slightly giving them a cute rosy look.

"Try to sleep.we have a long day tomorrow"

I snuggled up into him more mumbling a "ok" .i closed my eyes and drifted off to a dreamless sleep.