.:|Felix pov|:.
I struggled to break free. I watched myself as if in third person, pounded on the invisible wall separating most of my consciousness from my body.
Like in that YouTube PSA, "If You Could See Yourself, Would You Stop Yourself?" I desperately wanted to regain control and stop myself from doing this. No one deserved it. Julia most certainly didn't. She didn't deserve the strong blows raining down on her, the bruises that quickly faded, the scars and cuts she tried so hard to hide from Anna and JJ. But I couldn't do anything to stop.
I just kept hitting her, holding myself back as much as I could, which wasn't much.
Ever since that day she told me she didn't like me, I had had a tiny bit of resentment, deep deep down.
That day, I had threatened her and stormed off. I burned down a couple of forests, then Pitch found me. He talked to me while I was still weak, betrayed, and he convinced me to come over.
One of the worst choices of my life.
This black thing speared me in the stomach, then spread up my body. I lost control over my actions. I was just a mindless slave.
When I stabbed Julia all those years later, I was screaming in my mind, begging her for forgiveness, pleading that I didn't mean it as I plunged the knife between her shoulder blades, the tip coming out the front, scratching my stomach lightly. She froze instantly and I sobbed, feeling like someone had just stabbed me instead of her. She had run up and hugged me, trying to apologize for what she said, and I stabbed her in the back and left the rusty old knife in her small body, throwing her down on the sidewalk as people walked through her.
Now, I was hurting from hurting her. Occasionally, the black thing inside would let me break through, usually just as she kissed me or something as a sign of forgiveness, just so I could feel the pain and not have a chance to say anything, just try to put so much meaning into one small kiss.
It was torture.
Half the time, I wished I was dead. It would be better than this. Plus, the thing would no longer have control over my body.
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I have another oneshot, but it's incomplete so this is it for now.
So bored,
-iamanawesometaco
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Sandy's Twin: Julia's Nighmare (Book 1.5)
FanficThe seven years she was in the lair with Felix and Pitch. How Felix treated her, the fights they got into, what she felt. Possibly in diary entry form, maybe other perspectives like Felix's! Give you a bit of insight into his messed up head. He real...
