Poems & Stories & Rants

Story For Azalea

Once upon a time, in a kingdom ruled by magic and love, lived a simple minded performer named Sir Wooten. He was a jester for King and Queen Scheetz and their daughters Wynter and Azalea. Sir Wooten loved his job, only because he got to be in the presence of the impeccably fair maiden, Azalea, for his heart beat louder than a lion's mighty roar for her.

On this particular fine spring day, The King had sent an immediate request for Sir Wooten. Once Sir Wooten enter the throne room, it became clear to him that he had been called upon specifically to cheer up Princess Azalea. The jesters face lit up the moment he saw the beautiful girl, his cheeks burned a rose red. The Queen was in the royal garden picking daffodils with the younger Princess, and the King was to give a welcoming speech to his peasants. Thus, Sir Wooten and Princess Azalea were left to themselves.

"Good day my lady, it is a honor of the highest regard to be here to entertain you." Sir Wooten proclaimed with a bow. Princess Azalea did not smile, for she was in a particularly dreary mood. This troubled the Jester. "I see you have a frown, my lady, I am here to turn that expression upside down." He then went and fetched three ripe, green, juicy pears off of the nearby food table. "I will try my best to put on quite the show." The Princess rolled her chocolate eyes. 

Sir Wooten began to juggle the fruit, sticking out his tongue in concentration. He was putting his every thought into making the pears stay in the air, but dispute his attempt the pears all fell from the air one by one. The Princess sighed, as the Jester scrambled to collect the pears from the marble floor. "You must disregard my troubled performance my lady, I assure you my next will be far more skilled." Princess Azalea scoffed and spit, "I sure do hope, some Jester you are." Sir Wooten felt a stab to the chest, he was filled with embarrassment. This emotion was quickly replaced by determination to impress the maiden. 

A bead of sweat formed on his brow as he formed a risky plan. "Forgive me, I must fetch my next act from a room nearby." The Princess waved her hand in a dismissal, and Sir Wooten bolted for the door, bowing and apologizing once more. The made his way to his small room in the east wing of the castle where he kept his ukulele. He had it in his hands along with another item, and shuffled his way back into the throne room. Princess Azalea's eyes grew wide, but quickly resumed their normal, uninterested position as she questioned, "Why Jester, what is that odd looking contraption you carry? I've never seen anything as peculiar." Sir Wooten was pleased by her interest in his next act- the one he hoped would steal her heart. 

"This, Princess, is my next act for you." He smiled from ear to ear as he plugged his ukulele into the shiny new contraption. The Jester then put the strap from his instrument over his shoulder, and pulled an ivory pick from his pocket and held it up for the Princess to admire, his eyebrows raised. With a smirk, he brought his arm down and strung all of the strings. Sound burst from the contraption, echoing off of the room's marble walls. Princess Azalea's mouth dropped open, her hand positioned over her heart, she rose. Sir Wooten continued to furiously pick at the strings, playing measure after measure of a glorious, heavy metal tune. His head angrily banging to the beat.

Once the ballad was over with, he looked at the Princess, his heart filled with pride, and smashed his electric ukulele to bits on the ground. The room was silent. Sir Wooten, breathing heavily, sweat falling from his disheveled hair, took a final bow. "Thank you my lady." He spoke. The Princess' eyes stared into his, wide. She looked to the heavens and let out a melodic laugh. "My god, Jester, you are the most talented performer that has ever stood before me!" She held her dress up from the floor as she ran down the marble steps toward Sir Wooten, and threw her arms around him. "Since when have you been this handsome?" She questioned aloud into his ear. The Jester chuckled. "I do not know, but one thing I am sure of is that you have always been the fairest in all of the land Princess Azalea."

He held her delicate hand in his as he fell to one knee. "It would be an honor to court you my lady. For I am filled with nothing but affection while in your presence." Princess Azalea shrieked with surprise and joy. "Why of course I will court you, Sir Wooten! How could I say no to a musical genius, such as yourself?" Sir Wooten was relieved, and stood once again. He kissed her hand and took another bow. "Thank you for your time, my dearest Azalea." She curtsied, and replied "It has been an honor of the highest regard, Ukulele God."