Smile

Next To Her

How can you sit there and tell me I'm different.
You say those words but I don't feel them.
You tell me one thing but show me another.
Your making me start to wonder.
Am I good enough in your eyes.
I see how you look at everyone eles
Especially the one.
When you put us together I want to run.
I don't feel wanted.
I don't feel loved.
I'm always the outsider watching in.
And I must be ok with it.
So I shall not shed another tear
Instead next time I'll smile and be nice.
Or maybe not.
How about next time I'm go off the clock.
I think it's my time to go.
I'll figure out how to live again
You don't deserve the pain I cause.
I'll leave you to be with her
Maybe she'll do a better job.
She's better than I'll ever be.
It's clear as day to me
I'll never be that special.
I'll never be different.
Those words you say to me
I shall never feel them.
I shall always wonder what i did
Why am I not good enough in your eyes.
Do I even deserve love?
Sadly i think not.
Maybe the Lord does not want it for me.
I think it may ne true because
When you put me next to her
I don't feel wanted.
I don't feel loved.
But that's alright
I will not be here long.