7:54 pm // phan au

four.

the blue eyed boy crushed
decaying leaves under the soles
of his stained boots.

the sound of the overlooked destruction provided company
to the lonely crow,
reciting a piece of loneliness and desperation to the open sky.

no song answered it.
but phil heard.

the ordinary movement of lifting
the head away from the movement of the feet tore him from his thoughts.
he let of a slight gasp.

the sound of caused by the boy
on the bench just in front of him.
but he looked down and
convinced himself that it was a reaction to the rose bush,
decorated in red blossoms,
just to his left.

but he knew there was no point in bullshitting himself.
phil hasn't been in the presence
of a person who he hasn't payed to accompany him in
god knows how long.

the boys face was a painting of remarkable hues.
purple in the socket of the eye.
red tinted the cheeks.
pink lips let out a sigh.
freckles so unique.

he was gorgeous.
"i need to make him mine. just for a night."

phil ran his fingers though
his raven hair and
picked a pansy from the earth floor.

since his first love, phil believed
picked flowers to be an appropriate offering to a short lived relationship.

bare feet running in dew covered grass, the six year old hears a chorus of laughter from behind.

he turn around to see the love of his six
year old life in front of him.
she smelled like a strawberry
scratch n sniff sticker and
her hair reminded him of licorice rope.

her friends were with her,
their tiny fingers covering their
cotton candy lips.
his blue eyes squinted in confusion at the array of whispered "cmon dodie, tell him!", muffled laughter, and tugs on her blue dress.

phil ran home as fast as him little legs could take him that day,
his light up shoes illuminating with every step.

he came home to find the daisy dodie picked for him at recess, wilted.

picked flowers are the boys relationships.
beautiful for the short time they last, but inedibly wilt.

-

im so sorry for not updating in forever!! it's been a really tough week but i've been writing bits of this chapter during consoling. i hope you like it :)