Sorrowed light.

6.

Why is it okay for the blame of my weaknesses to be thrown down my already sore throat for me to choke on? Why was she let off for causing my pain, our pain, all of this for me, tears, misery, damaging demons, after a year and a half for it all to be a joke to them both. All too much that I carved my hips deeper and even deeper just wanting a small escape, release. I feel as if she wanted this, wanted me gone from the moment she said hello. Why did he get so mad, threatening my biggest fears, throwing his hate towards me, making her smile grow. Why was a stranger let off the hook for lightly grazing over her own skin, went to him woefully and made me to blame, my pain and misery was pushed aside placing his worries within her. Why can't I say how I feel without it being put down as a petty reason of jealousy, but she can call me any name under the sun, tell him how she feels and after it all he still chooses her feelings. She causes a lot but yet I am in the wrong. I beg and plead for a stranger to be left but even through the tears, misery, arguments, anger and all the empty promises, he wont change a thing. He wouldn't give up the one problem blocking us from happiness. She won't be gone and the thought makes me scared. It keeps me up at night, the amount of times I've cried and trembled at the very thought of this stranger taking over is unbelievable. She's my biggest demon and some days I feel like she is winning because of him.