The sick feeling that rises as my heart sinks as all too familiar. Why am I having to hide myself away? Having to make lists, question myself just so I wouldn't smother him. It's funny, I need him but because I am this way and I care about his feelings more than my own, I talk to my walls, talk to strangers about their own problems as a distraction, to relieve my mind and just to stop the voices. I am stuck hearing my own head scream. Drowning in demons, most newly created as I've cried myself to sleep.
No one truly knows that I'd do anything to give his heart and mind peace but as I am ready to sacrifice myself, there's a small overpowering insecurity that makes me feel as if he wouldn't do the same. I question everything and only recently had my insecurities rise so badly after so long. I fear and often question if I am killing him. suicidal thoughts and tears isn't happy. Do you know how it feels to have every single twisted problem rested on my weak shoulders all because the blame has to be put somewhere, the worst thing is after all of this, I allow it and I've started believing it after a while.
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Sorrowed light.
TeenfikceElyar sky is stuck talking to her demons inside her head. That's all she feels she has. She needs to get out of the darkness and into the light.
