In my crib, with my boyz

Chapter 4: Kidnapped

Suddenly, I opened my eyes and realized I was tied to a chair and had hello kitty duct tape on my mouth. Everything was blurry. When my eyesight came back, I saw Kim Jong Un in front of me, starring into my nostrils. All I could hear was him blabbering on about something up my nose. Then when he realized I woke up, he started talking in English to me. "Cory, you're dumb," he said. " What are you talking about?" I replied, " I am soooooo dumb."" Yes Cory, we know that," he told me."That's how Obama tricked you into joining him." All of a sudden, one of Kim's servants came beside him. " Sir, we have nuked the Chinese," his servant said. " When I said nuke the Chinese, I meant put the takeout in the microwave," Kim Jong Un said, "Anyway Cory, you will be staying here until we get rid of your house, your family, and AMERICA." You can kill my family, but you can NOT take away my mountain dew and doritos," I said, starting to tear up. "No no no Cory, we would never do that," he replied, " I will leave some here..., if you make a deal with me." "What's the deal," I questioned. " If you tell me how much Obama weighs, I will give you KFC," he said. " DEAL!!!! Obama weighs 500 pounds," I said seriously. " Damn it, he still weighs less than me," kim said sadly.He then left the room without giving me any fried chicken and shut the lights off. " Guess i will be staying here all night,' I sais to myself. Then I had a brilliant idea. Maybe Kim Jong Un keeps some watermelon and kool aid in his desk. So i broke the rope tied around me by flexing my fat, and escaped. I went around his desk quietly, and opened a cabinet. Sadly, there was only hello kitty stickers and a picture of donald trump. I took the picture anyway, and cuddled up with it, trying to fall asleep. I couldn't sleep, so i thought a snack would help. I found a wrapper on the floor and immediately ate it. Then i stood up and rubbed my tummy, just as mom used to do. My eyes slowly closed as i fell to the ground.