Tension

chapter two

Two weeks later Nate had told Maggie that he didn't have feelings for her like she did, but he was not very sentimental about it. She felt so unwanted, to give someone everything she had and have him tell her that he doesn't want it just destroyed her. Now i knew it may seem selfish but after Nate did that to Maggs, I felt like I was in the middle of the whole thing. It was hard for me because Maggie was my best friend, but I had become such good friends with nate and I didn't want that to go away. I knew that before I told maggie how close Nate and I were I had to make sure maggie was going to be okay. The guy she had fallen so hard for just broke her heart.
I had been hiding the fact that I had been talking to Nate for quite a long time. I knew that I couldn't tell Maggie right now because she would never forgive me and I couldn't take the chances of losing my best friend, I also knew that if I was to hide it from her any longer things would just get worse. In the end I decided to wait and tell her after she got over what was going on
When I finally told her what was going on it ended way worse then I had ever imagined. Telling Maggie that Nate and I talk on skype every night of the week, slept on the phone, and that I was starting to gain feelings for him, it wasn't the easiest thing to tell my best friend. Maggie and czamia couldn't have been more cruel to me. They wouldn't talk to me, called me a skank, and spread rumors about what was going on with Nate and I.
Now the only one that I had to talk to about what was going on was John, but that was very hard considering I knew that John was in love with me. It wasnt that silly high school love that most people would think it was, no he was in love with me. John would do anything for me, and I hated that. It's not that I hated the love, I hated knowing that I had the power to destroy him or make him the happiest person in the world.
I was so overwhelmed with everything that was going on at this point, I had hurt my best friend in the whole world, I was falling in love with Nate when I knew that was going to make my life so much more complicated, all during the same time I was trying to figure out what was going on with John and I.
I didn't know what to do. I was a mess, I came to school everyday like I had just rolled out of bed. It had gotten to the point to where I was so distant that even my teachers asked if I was okay. I was asked if I had been crying because my eyes were red from not getting any sleep or being so high. John started to get very mad at me for this, he didn't like when I was using drugs. He could be so jealous that I wanted someone else but at the end of the day he would push it aside just because I needed help.
About a week later everything took a turn. Maggie and I had talked about things, Czamia didn't really like it when the two of us made up because it meant she was more on the outside again. Things were still not back to normal but they were getting there.
Nate had finally asked me on a real date. I wore my favorite scarf, my hair smelled like citrus, and my hands couldn't stop trembling. Nate wore his nicest flannel, nervously fixed his hair over and over, and he couldn't take his eyes off of me. He was so amazed by how much more beautiful I was in person, he had fallen in love with me that night. Watching me scrunch my nose when I got excited and the way I looked down when I smiled because I felt insecure about my teeth. What he didn't know was that I couldn't help but fall right back for him, he had a wide grin whenever I smiled. The way he would stroke his thumb along mine while holding my hand, and the way he kissed my forehead then held me so close made me just feel so safe. Sitting in the cool November air, just the two of us kids not knowing that our whole lives were about to change in so many ways.