Film Discussion - 2016

I06I NORM OF THE NORTH I Film Discussion

I had to think hard about which bad movie I should slay today... having just gave 10 Cloverfield Lane a pretty positive review... I feel that I should actually talk about some shitty movies for a change.

Xby TurboMac

At first it was between Fifty Shades of Black and this equally crappy animated film. Whereas the former is indeed bad, it's still the kind of bad that you roll your eyes at. This movie however, makes me want to gauge my eyes out.

Yeah. Norm of the North is horrible. But you know that already. Listen to the title! How could this ever be a good movie.

I'm not going to go into the background of this movie... you can look it up yourself. Just the cast, the production history, the posters and the trailers alone should be enough to keep you away from this movie. And if you're still thinking about watching it... I'm telling you... DON'T.

If I were to put this film on trial, the only defense the movie could come up with would be: We're trying to save the environment, oh and don't forget, we're just a kid film, A KID FILM!

Uh, yeah... NO.

First of all, this kid film excuse thingy, it has to stop. You can't just say because your job is only to entertain kids, you can choose to put in no effort at all.

Xby TurboMac

Why? Because we live in a world where films like Inside Out exist. And if it takes too much effort to look back one year ago, then look at what had come up the past months. We had Zootopia and Kungfu Panda 3.

I know my opinion on Zootopia is different from other people. And I admit I think it has a lot of problems (gosh... it feels like it might be more fun to talk about Zootopia than to spend any more time with Norm I'm-horrible-film of  fucking North). Yeah, Zootopia is not perfect. But there's one thing I can't take away from it – it tried.

That film actually talks about racism and discrimination and urban life and friendship and rural-urban disparity and society and corruption and conspiracy... it becomes a bit messy of course, but for a good enough reason for me to really have a massive respect for it. The filmmakers took chances. They took risk. They definitely put in a lot of effort. And they respect the kids watching it.

Norm of the North talks about Environmental protection. But you kinda get a feeling that it doesn't really care that much.

Xby TurboMac

The plot of this movie is a polar bear trying to convince a property developer to stop building houses in the Arctic. For a movie about global warming, that's the easiest plot you could've came up with! There is no attempt in this movie to make complex discussion or introduce new ideas into the message.

Compare this to the plot of Zootopia. You can see immediately which one is more respectful of its message.

Sure. The movie can defend itself by citing good intention but when it is so clear that no effort was put into this whole thing... it's almost like an unreliable alibi in a murder case.

Plus these are topics far beyond the reach of kids entertainment... hell, even entertainment in general. The topic of Sustainable development is still being discussed in classrooms all over the world. If a movie is going to tackle this... it better be mature enough to do it.

Well, here we have a movie that has at least 3 scenes of a bear dancing to a pop tune. It's almost like the writers just go: Fuck it! I can't think of anything else, just make him dance. Easy animation. Put some music over it. You know what? We don't have the time or effort or money to animate other characters doing something else. We'll have them dance with the bear - like a fucking boy band. That should take up a few minutes.

Xby TurboMac

Yeah... I rubbed my face in embarrassment when the other characters just join in with the bear in his dance. And it's not like in Saving Mr. Banks or anything... it's more like when the title card for a commercial is shooting up and the other characters are just awkwardly shaking in the background. It is complete laziness.

You think the story in this movie sucks hard? The animation sucks harder.

We've just had Kungfu Panda 3 in theatre. That movie had some of the most gorgeous animation I have seen in decades. In that movie, every little pixels shine like diamonds and rubies. Vivid shades of colours bounce off each other - throughout the movie, the screen is lit up like a painting. In this movie, even the landscape of the north pole looks like blocks of white legos staggered into something resembling an iceberg. The ground is flat - there is no depression or plateaus or hills, there is no gesture to the ice or the snow. The city looks generic - buildings and houses are all we see. The characters are not memorable at all. The closest thing to a creative design is the villain who is supposed to look a little crooked and has a weird little beard. I admit it is different, but only by this movie standard. When compared to designs from other animated films even those with low budget, the character's design is still quite standard. Also, he looks half-assed. It's like they had a half-imaginative ides and find the easiest way to make it happen.

Xby TurboMac

On the whole, this movie's animation looks worse than TV, and I'm not kidding. It just looks like an incomplete commercial.

I can't really say much anymore about this movie. What else is there to say about this movie? Everything in it sucks. I can't criticize all of it because I know the makers intended to be lazy. They just want a quick one.

This is a hard one to get through, seriously. It really is one of those movies that test my devotion. The best I could do was to see the movie to the end. I did. And it was just... painful.

On a principle, I can't give this movie any score. I really can't. I'm not just saying this to be hyperbolic. I really do mean that as of currently, I cannot think of a single thing in this movie that impress me enough to earn a score. I tried to think of something - nothing came up at all. it's... kind of sad. The film has done nothing to deserve even a decimal place. My score: 0/10

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I dedicate this review to @hoodsation, previously known as @lostuptown (i think), since she recommends books in Wattpad which I kinda like what we do here.. I guess...