Measure Of Love

Chapter 13: Making Up

Clary glanced at her phone, nothing new. Marcus hadn't tried to reach out to her at all. He had said 'see you' when he left, but he hadn't seemed so.. Into her. Could it be he didn't just like her that much after all? Or did she do something wrong? Did the Jace thing bother him? Did he really think there was something going on?

Clary told herself she was pathetic and just driving herself crazy. She got up from her bed and walked out of her room.

Jace opened his door almost at the same time. He hesitated. "Oh, uh, hey."

"Don't you know how to be around me at all?" She asked as she walked to the stairs.

"I'm just.. Not sure where exactly do we stand." He replied as he walked after her. "I mean it seems to be random when we at least act like we get along and when we wanna kill each other."

Clary groaned. "I'm sick of this."

"You think I love this?" He asked and she turned to him so he almost walked at her. He was already a lot taller than her and now standing one step over her which made her even more annoyed and her neck hurt as she looked up at him.

"No, I actually don't know what's going on in your mind at all."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked and she rolled her eyes.

"We tried to make peace. You screwed things up with Marcus." She said, feeling like that was why she actually was pissed off. "We make peace again and you act all weird and start talking about killing each other."

"Oh, come on. Don't be so serious." He said. "And what? Screwed things up with Marcus? I hardly doubt my few comments ruined anything."

They had to. Clary thought. Cause the other option is he's actually not into me and that proves my theory of no guy ever liking me and if they do, they won't once they actually know me. "I.. It was the way you acted."

"I always act like that." He just said.

"Yeah, cause you're a jerk." She said before turning around.

"You just always have to play that card." He said as he followed her to the kitchen. "Morning."

"Morning..." The others mumbled.

"What card?!" She asked turning to him.

"Jerk. Whatever. You don't think any further." He replied.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "What? There's some great philosophy to why you always act like that? Like you just admitted?"

"Maybe not, but you always end the conversation with that." He said and she laughed.

"Or when you walk out of the room or tell me to get out of the room." She said. "It's you who doesn't wanna talk."

"What is there to talk about?" He asked with a groan. "Apparently this just.. Doesn't work out. Why try?"

"Apparently not." She replied. "You know.. You wanna know something that makes me really upset?" She asked, not sure if she wanted to let this all out in front of all of them or even tell Jace, but maybe she just wanted to hurt him. Even a bit.

"Why would I?" He just asked.

She sighed. "My mom has this box.. Filled with photographs. I was looking through it to find some pictures from my parents' wedding so I could maybe paint one for their anniversary and I found these old pictures of us, like since we were babies to when we were teenagers. They made me upset. For the first time in years I felt like calling you and working it out cause I.. Cause I really missed my best friend. I didn't wanna lose him. But what really made me upset was when I realized I lost him a long time ago. There's no point in trying to work it out with you. Because that boy in those pictures, my best friend, who I love, who I spent most of my life with like it was hard to breathe if we weren't in the same room.. He doesn't exist anymore." Jace just looked at her but somehow she went on. "He doesn't. I just.. I can't find him anymore. I wish I did cause with him I would love to work out whatever went wrong and apologize for being a selfish idiot back then. That's what makes me upset. Cause I can't do that." She stormed past him, her shoulder shoving his. Everyone in the room were quiet. Even Sophia and Max.

Jace turned around. "I haven't changed." He said and she stopped, turning back to him. "We have. Whatever this is. I haven't." He had a point.

She sighed. "It's just that.. I wish it wouldn't have. Not just because fighting all the time and going back and forth is so, incredibly tiring. But because.. I miss it. I miss you. I mean.. You were the one person who I could always count on and run to. And not even just those things. All the great stuff. I remember my grandma saying that we were always just sitting nose to nose and finishing each other's sentences, maybe were, but the insides of our heads were always far more interesting. And I used to know yours like my own. Now I still feel weird about asking you stuff because I feel like I should know them immediately but it's just not like that anymore. Maybe we really have changed, way too much for it to go back to what it was, but it's sad. Because I miss having that. Maybe I'm not a kid anymore and don't wanna climb trees or tell ghost stories with you, but it was still something pretty special. Really, to me you were the most amazing person ever existed. And the fact that I got to be your friend and you were always there for me.. I was so scared to lose it that eventually I did. Maybe it would've happened anyway, we were growing up and everything was tough and frustratting, but I'm sorry if I screwed it up. I never thought it could disappear so easily." There was a long silence again but for her there was no longer anyone else in the room or on the planet than her and the golden-eyed boy staring back at her.

"You didn't ruin it." He said after a long silence. "There was a lot going on and I only made it harder. Of course I regret that, of course I miss it too, of course I miss you too. And don't think you weren't just as amazing to me, you've been the most important person to me. Ever. I just.. Don't know what to do."

She smiled slightly. "Well, I could put my pride aside."

"Me too." He said quietly with a small smile. "You know I still care about you, right? It didn't stop. I mean just because I'm a jackass to you doesn't mean I wouldn't punch someone else who was or that I'd want you to be upset or hurt." She just smiled before walking up to him, standing on her tiptoes and wrapping her arms around his neck. He hugged her too and they held each other tightly.

"I still care about you a lot too." She told him. She could feel his pulse and if it was possible, it was even faster than hers. She let out a sigh and leaned her forehead against his shoulder before stepping back slightly and meeting his eyes.

"Maybe we should leave them alone." Celiné said and they all got up.

"But my toast-..." Sophia said.

"Take it with you." Celiné just said and they all hurried out of the room. Clary laughed lightly and got down from her tiptoes, standing normally again and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and she smiled.

"I like this."

"Me too." He said quietly.

She pulled back enough to look at him. "Let's not screw this up again, okay?"

"Agreed." He replied with a smile.

"Can we come back?" Sophia called out.

"Soph." Celiné hissed.

"Okay, I'm just gonna get coffee!" Clary called out. "Nothing secret going on!"

AN: Fixed. Or not. :') Arghhjjj I have so much to do! Hope you guys have a great rest of the week xx

I got the 'sitting nose to nose and finishing each other's sentences' from my mom who said that about me and my best friend.. Well, we're not kids anymore but I'd say we're still like that😂❤️