Imprisoned Thoughts

Slam Poem Part 1: Food

I knew it was getting bad again. I was offered food, but before i thought about the calories or how much I've eaten today (which was nothing), I said no. I was starving but my mind wasn't hungry. No was my answer before i had time to think about an answer. I didn't have to think about not eating. That's when i knew it wasn't about the food. It was a side affect to my head, my thoughts, and my empty stomach because i couldn't eat. At this time, it wasn't because I didn't want to. Depression was entering through my mouth like an innocent soul being possessed. I watched unknowingly as the black mass ambushed my entire being. I didn't have an appetite. My stomach hurt, and I knew why. Lies were beginning to be easier to tell. I had wanted to be reckless, but not in a psychological way. Trapped in this body, I'm scared. This body I've been taught to hate. This mind I've been taught had to be controlled. But this mind is a world inside a body and it can not be controlled. Trust me, I've tried.