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Oh hell no!

I'm at the NASA centre and I'm scared as hell. Until I see a hot guy walking towards me, he's so muscular that I can see his veins coming thru his shirt. His brown hair is... Oh his hair... It's so--

"Will you stop describing me? I know I'm fabulous but I'm gay" He says,

"You're not gay anymore" I say
"Yes, I am"
"No, you're not!"
"Yes, I am!"
"No, you're not!" I say while fire comes out of my eyes,

"M-mom..." He cries,
"Mommy, help!",
I see my mom come out
"Oh baby it's ok" she says while wiping Kleenex on his tears,

"Mom?!" I say,
"Wait, I was hitting on my own brother?"
"Ahhhhhh!" I scream while running out of this laboratory and I slip on mud and lick it,
"It's missing salt and pepper but that's cool" I say,

I see bill nye walk up but I hide behind a wall and get in a room,
"Excuse me, you must be Emma, one of our astronauts! Wear this suit immediately, we have been waiting for you for a long time" A man says,
"But, but" I say,
"Did I stutter, I said now!" He says,
"But it's not pink" I cry,
"Who fucking cares, wear this now!" He  screamed at me,
"O-ok, wears the changing room?" I ask,
"Changing room? You need to change in front of me!" He screams,

While I change, his eyes turns into stones,
I scream and run but three muscular guards carry me to a rocket ship,
They throw me into the rocket ship and close the door,

I see two girls and one hot guy,
"Hello, I'm Melinda!" I say,
"I'm a flamingo" a girl says,
"I'm Tina" she smiles with her donkey mouth,
"And I'm jake" he flips his hair in slow motion,
"k" I respond,

"The rocket ship is leaving in 5...." A guy in the speaker says,
"What? We're leaving the frickin earth?!" I scream until everyone become deaf,
"I'm Doctor Phil, I have hearing aids for all of you" he says,
"Ok but this shit better be free" Flamingo says,
"I only get food stamps and welfare"

"4......" The guy in the speaker says,
"Did somebody just say 4?" A dark-skinned guy walks in with a microphone,
"I'm 4 cents the next one hit wonder in the house!"
"Yo yo yo shawty, it's your birthday, we gon fuxk like it's your birthday" he sings,
"Tyrone, is that you? You're the one who got me pregnant bitch! And you leave me for this shit?" Tina says,
"Ummm I hear Kentucky callin" he says while running with no pants,

"3....." The man in the speaker says,
"Is this seriously going to take that long to countdown?!" I ask,
"Bitch, be patient you motherfuckin garbonza bean. Enjoy your ride" he smiles at me from the window and gives me the middle finger,

The rocket ship suddenly goes up,

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" everyone screams,
I pass out and when I wake up I see a alien,
"Makey makey moo, in our planet, touching breast means hello"