*FOR ANYONE NOT AWARE, THIS IS A HARRY POTTER MARAUDERS ERA ONE SHOT*
A/N: This was just meant to be a short piece outlining what I think was going on in his head when he turned to the dark arts. I haven't checked when it happened according to J K Rowling, but I wanted to show that he wasn't as despicable as everyone seems to make him out to be, and to remind people that he was a person in his own right.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.
I looked to the door, hoping that it would stay closed. I didn't want anyone to find me like this, especially Moony, Padfoot and Prongs. There was nothing they would be able to do to help me, and they didn't need to. I knew what I was, how little I meant to everyone. I was just a shadow, their little pet, following them around, unable to contribute anything to the elaborate pranks and plans they laid out. And all this time I was on lookout, standing outside redundantly since Remus was stood with the Marauders Map inside.
The only two people other than Moony, Padfoot and Prongs that seemed to care about me were Lily Evans and Mary MacDonald. Even then, it felt like I was an afterthought, someone you didn't want to know about, but asked anyway in order to appear polite and caring. I often wished they would give up with their charade, and just recognised me for what I was: a hopeless coward whose three friends only befriended him because they pitied him.
I slowly read and reread the note I suspected Severus Snape had slipped into my robe pocket just before Christmas. The handwriting had been disguised so that I wouldn't recognise it, and there had been a large number of Slytherin students who associated themselves with the dark arts around me at the time. It read:
If you want recognition then look no further. Eternal greatness awaits all those who follow the Dark Lord on his quest for a world in which we do not have to hide. If you wish to join us, find yourself in the Girl's Bathroom on the first floor where Moaning Myrtle has taken residence on any Friday at midnight before the end of your time at Hogwarts.
I didn't know what to do. I had heard many bad things about joining them, and that they practiced dark spells on muggle-borns in private. But the idea of having my own identity, rather than simply being the shadow in the background appealed to me. I wondered if I would be considered weak, considering the idea of joining them, but then remembered that I wasn't thought of at all. I might be able to join in secret, but I wondered whether it would be possible to hide it from the other Marauders.
I had spent hours toying with the idea over the past month since I had first got the note. Each night, when I lay in bed, I wondered what it would be like to join them, if greatness really would be waiting for me, or whether it was just a ploy to get me to join them. A part of me yearned to join them, so that I would be noticed, someone people recognised for something other than my three friends. The other part of me, probably the more sensible and logical side, told me that it wouldn't make a difference, and that joining them would mean betraying my friends and the other Marauders.
I put the letter away, once again undecided. I still had time to decide, as I wouldn't leave until June. Just as I had closed my trunk, Sirius and Remus came in, clearly absorbed in their whispered conversation, hardly noticing that I was in the room. James wasn't with them, but he rarely was at the minute, having finally won Lily over. Most of his time was spent on studying for his N.E.W.Ts and interacting with Lily both verbally and physically. Sirius suddenly spotted me.
"You okay Wormtail? We wondered where you were." I nodded slowly, trying to disguise the guilt I felt for thinking about leaving them. "James is in a broomstick cupboard with Lily. I would say that they're snogging, but they've been in there a while so who knows what they're up to now. Why weren't you with us in the common room?"
"I needed to be in a quiet space. My brain was overcrowded by too many different things." Padfoot frowned, but let it pass.
"Were you studying? Our exams are a few months away, but it will be easier to remember everything if you start revising earlier rather than later."
"I was practising non-verbal spells." Moony would be happy, knowing that I still needed to concentrate extremely hard to get them to work for me, although it had got slightly easier since James and Remus had taught me to hang Severus by his ankle and then drop him again.
"Oh good. Any progress? We can go back to the Room of Requirement to practise again if you think it would help." I nodded, more enthusiastically this time. I knew there was a reason to stay around Moony, Padfoot and Prongs. "I'll ask James if we can borrow his cloak on Saturday night when he reappears. In the meantime, I don't think it will do you any harm to come down to the common room with us now. Sirius is going to try and ask Mary McDonald out again."
Hours later, I was sat in one of the armchairs by the fire, watching Sirius and Mary play about with each other. Sirius had been successful in asking Mary out, and they would be going to Hogsmeade together the following day. Remus had slipped off to the prefects' bathroom to relax and have a hot bath before bed. James was still absent, though he was no longer in the broom closet he had been sharing with Lily earlier. According to the Marauders Map, they were non-existent. This meant they had probably moved onto the Room of Requirement or the Prefects Bathroom. If it was the latter, then I would expect Remus to come back through the door looking disgruntled.
As it happened, Moony put in an appearance just minutes later.
"Damn James and Lily. I can't get into the bathroom, but I bet they are in there. All the other prefects are on duty or in their common rooms. I give up, and am going to bed."
"Night Remus." He stormed off up the stairs, and I turned back to the sofa where Mary and Sirius had been just in time to see them slipping out of the hole. Once again, I was left to my own devices.
Another group of Gryffindors moved over to where Sirius and Mary had been just moments before, having seen that there was nobody sat there. They were some of the other girls in our year, but they didn't even bother to greet me as they sat down. One of them did look right at me, but just ignored me completely, as though I wasn't really there or had ceased to exist. I looked at my hand to check that I was still visible. I was sure I could still be seen.
This was another example of why I was tempted by the offer to join the Slytherins. Looking at my watch, I noted that it was half eleven, on a Friday evening. 'Just go and join them' a small voice in my head told me. 'Join them, and then you will finally be recognised. Those girls won't ignore you.'
'But they will they will look at you with contempt and disgust.' There was another voice too, smaller than the other one. 'Is that really what you want?'
'Wouldn't you rather them have some form of recognition other than "It's that Peter boy that nobody likes"?'
Suddenly, I found myself walking out onto the staircase, having left the common room behind. The route in my head took me directly to the Girls Bathroom on the first floor, like the letter instructed. My mind was made up. As touching as it was to be cared for by Moony, and to be assigned my duty of look-out by Prongs and Padfoot, I need something more. I needed independence, and I sure as hell wouldn't get that while I was cowering behind them, hiding in their shadows and admiring how clever all their pranks were. It was only slightly alarming how quickly I was moving, walking towards the end of my friendship with them at a pace used in emergency situations.
The second I walked through the door into that bathroom, I knew there was no turning back. The cloaked figures of Severus, Avery and Mulciber greeted me, and behind me were the equally disturbing figures of some sixth year Slytherins.
I could see them all sneering, knowing smiles that told me they had expected me to weaken enough to turn up. They had expected me to betray my friends of six and a half years in favour of some recognition and independence. And they were right.
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One Shots
FanfictionMostly slash ships. Expect mostly band ships, with some other fandoms (will be marked).