" Did you ever feel the same? Was my mind just playing games? "
~~~
Based on All In My Head by Tori Kelly
Phil loves Dan and he thought Dan felt the same way. But when Dan introduces him to his new girlfriend, Phil's left to pick up the pieces of his broken heart. Will they work things out in the end?
~~~
I was in love with Dan Howell. I had been in love with Dan Howell for years, and recently he'd been starting to act like he loved me too. He'd buy me little gifts like chocolates and flowers. He'd call me beautiful. He'd kiss me. I'd never felt so happy.
Then one day he became distant. He'd go out more and when I asked where he'd been all day he'd snap at me, he'd tell me it was none of my business. He stopped buying me those gifts. He stopped kissing me. He stopped calling me beautiful. I didn't know what I'd done wrong or if I'd even done anything at all. I started spending more time alone in my room making videos, my subscribers were happy that I was uploading more often but when I read the comments one name kept popping up more and more frequently as time went on.
Where's Dan?
Make more videos with Dan!
Has something happened between Dan and Phil? They hardly make videos together anymore!
I slammed the lid of my laptop down and ran my hands through my hair. It felt greasy. I hadn't showered in days. I sighed and stood up. I grabbed a towel and a change of clothes and headed to the bathroom. I passed Dan on my way there but, as usual, we didn't say anything to each other. I felt like I was living by myself again.
I'd just finished drying my hair when I heard a knock at the front door. I heard Dan leave his room to answer it. I realised that I'd left my phone in the living room so I went to go and get it. As I approached the door I heard laughing and talking from inside. I felt a pain in my chest, I remembered when Dan would laugh and talk with me for hours. I saw my phone on the table so I decided to go in and out of the room as quick as possible so I didn't disturb Dan and his guest.
As I walked in I glanced over at the sofa to see who Dan's mystery guest was but I didn't recognise her. I grabbed my phone but as I turned to walk out of the room I heard Dan call my name.
"Phil! I want to introduce you to someone," he said. It sounded cheerful enough but his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. I walked towards them. I put on a smile and reached out my hand, the girl shook it and returned my smile.
"Hi, I'm Phil," I said quietly. I used to love meeting new people, but now I'd rather be anywhere else but here. I felt Dan's eyes on me as I lowered my hand.
"Phil, this is Cat...my girlfriend," Dan said wrapping his arm around the girls waist and smiling at her. Girlfriend? Hearing Dan say that word felt like a stab in my heart. I felt a lump forming in my throat but I willed it away. I wasn't going to cry, at least not in front of them.
"Dan has told me about you! He invited me here today to meet you! His best friend," Cat smiled, she was being sincere. I could tell she was eager to make a good impression on Dan's 'best friend.' Hearing those words felt like another stab. I faked another smile.
"Nice to meet you...well I better be going I have some videos I need to edit so," I felt my voice crack on the last word. I cleared my throat and walked quickly out of the room.
I heard Cat say, "I don't think he likes me," sadly.
Then I heard Dan reply, "Don't worry about it, he's probably just tired." I heard them kiss. That was the last straw.
I ran into my room and slammed the door, not caring if they heard. As soon as the door was closed all of my emotions poured out. I collapsed against the door and pulled my knees up to my chest. I buried my face in my hands and I cried. I cried for what felt like forever, until I felt like I couldn't cry anymore.
