"There is so much space between us, maybe we're already defeated"
~~~
Based on Love In The Dark by Adele
Nothing seems to be going right recently. They're arguing all the time, and Phil doesn't know how much more he can take.
~~~
"Fuck you!" I heard the door slam as Dan stormed off into his room yet again. I rolled my eyes and sighed. This had been happening a lot recently. Everyday he would find something to start an argument about, whether it be that I'd spilled some milk on the counter while making a coffee or I didn't make the bed properly. Truthfully I was starting to get tired of it.
This time he was angry because I'd accidentally left one of the cupboards open in the kitchen. I had been sat in the living room on my laptop when he had come charging in.
"What's the matter this time?" I had asked tiredly.
"I'm sick of you always leaving the cupboards open! How hard is it to close a fucking door?" He shouted. I let out an exasperated sigh and placed my laptop down next to me on the sofa.
"It was an accident, Jesus, why are you so angry all the time?" I questioned. I saw him clench and unclench his fists and I rolled my eyes. I had no idea what had made him so aggressive, it was like one day he was fine and the next he was acting like he hated me.
"Because you're always doing stupid shit like this and it gets on my nerves. Just forget it! Remember to close the door next time, okay?" He scowled and ran his hands through his hair.
"If I'm that annoying then why don't you just pack your stuff and leave for God's sake? I'm sick and tired of you treating me like crap all time," I spat. I leaned back on the sofa and folded my arms. It was after that statement that he had stomped off to his room and slammed the door.
It never used to be like this. We actually used to be happy together, even though it doesn't seem like that anymore. We'd been together for three years, and the relationship was going really well. There were hardly any arguments, and if we did argue it would get resolved as soon as it started and we would never go to bed angry at each other. But then we started arguing more frequently and resolving them less so. We seemed to be drifting apart slowly and there was nothing I could do about it.
I was starting to think that maybe it would be for the best if we weren't together anymore. But that thought pained me because I still loved him. I just wasn't sure he felt the same way.
I decided to go and stay with PJ for a couple of days so I could clear my head and figure out what to do. I called him to make sure it was okay, then I walked into my room and grabbed my suitcase out of my wardrobe.
I was halfway through packing when I heard a knock at my door.
"What do you want?" I asked. I wasn't in the mood for another argument. The door slowly opened and Dan walked in. He opened his mouth to say something until he saw my half packed suitcase.
"What are you doing?" He asked and a look of panic flashed across his face.
"I'm going to stay with PJ over the weekend," I replied bluntly. I turned around and carried on putting my clothes in my suitcase.
"What? Why?" He spluttered.
"I thought you'd be happy, since you find my presence so irritating," I quipped. I stood up and walked over to my bedside table to fetch my charger. Dan stood in the door in silence and watched me pack the rest of my things.
"I don't find you irritating," he said finally. I scoffed and walked over to him.
"That's not what you've been saying for the past two weeks Dan," I muttered. I zipped up my suitcase and picked it up but Dan blocked the doorway.
"Please don't leave me," he whispered. I saw his eyes start to tear up. He was making it even harder for me to walk away but I knew I couldn't stay and be unhappy.
"Move out of the way." I avoided looking into his eyes because I knew it would break me.
"I'm sorry Phil, I didn't mean any of what I've said, please just don't leave," he choked. I looked up at him. He had tears steadily rolling down his cheeks and more were threatening to spill. I felt a lump form in my throat. It killed me to leave but I had to, it would be better for both of us.
"I'm sorry, I'm only going for a couple of days. Just to clear my head," I tried to calm him down.
"I'll change I promise, please stay," he whimpered. I took a deep breath and gently moved him out of the way. He grabbed my wrist and whispered, "Phil please." His eyes were full of regret, but I knew that if I stayed it would only carry on the way it has been.
"I can't stay Dan. Don't you see how you've been acting? You've pushed me away, you've insulted me, it's you that's made me leave!" I pulled my wrist out of his grasp and walked down the hall. I heard him walking after me.
"But you're coming back right? After the weekend? You're not going to leave forever?" He rambled. He lifted his hand and wiped his eyes.
"I...I don't know. I need some time to think." I shook my head.
"So what are we now? Are we broken up?" He asked timidly, scared of the answer.
"Not broken up...just...on a break for a few days," I decided. He nodded and looked down at the floor. I walked downstairs to the front door and looked up at him one final time before turning around.
"Wait," he shouted. He ran down the stairs and stood in front of me.
"No, Dan, I'm leaving," I said.
"I know...I just wanted to kiss you before you leave...in case you don't come back," his voice cracked. I knew I shouldn't kiss him because it would only make the situation harder. But I did it anyway. I leaned forwards and pressed my lips against his. He wrapped his arms around my neck and I could feel his body shaking as he cried silently. His lips tasted salty from the tears. When I pulled away I realised that I had started crying as well.
"Goodbye Dan," I whispered.
"I love you Phil," he croaked. I took a deep breath and turned around without replying. I opened the door and walked away, unsure if I would ever be returning.
Sorry about the slow updates! The next one will hopefully be up soon as it is the Christmas holidays! Also the next one won't be as emotional hopefully 😂
Feedback is appreciated so feel free to leave comments 👍🏼
