Him. [H. S.]

seven.

song for this chapter - beside you (5SOS)

the silent words are hard to speak, when your thoughts are all i see, "don't ever leave." she said to me.. when we both fall asleep underneath the same sky, to the beat of our hearts at the same time, so close but so far away..

******

my heart beat increases with the drive, with ever street we cross by, memories flash in front of my eyes, i gulp down, feeling nervous and scared, i try to think about something else, anything but this, something that makes me happy, but i fail terribly, instead i look out through the window, noticing the world, it's still going, the streets, with dim street lights, making them look a little less darker, that room had the same darkness when he undressed me, tears make their way out, as i quickly wipe them away.

"rose, it's okay, everything will be fine." harry rests his palm on my lap, making circles, through his index finger, trying to comfort me, why the hell are his hands so cold?

i nod, trying to force a smile, "i'm sorry, i'm just.." i try to form an excuse, for crying.

 he stops the car, holds my hands in his, tracing the marks, looking at them and then back at me, "no need to be, these marks on your wrists, mean a lot." he smiles, looking at me, as i try to recover with this instant shock he has given me.

i don't utter a word after that, as he resumes his driving, i don't ask him, for how did he know about it? about the cuts, i just act sober, even though, my mind is dying to know the answers to all my questions. his hand is still on my lap, drawing circles, making the part cold, but i don't push it away either, he's probably the first one to acknowledge them, to understand my fear of being in a place, full of people, a fear of breaking again and a fear of being betrayed.

he parks the car a few yards away from the club, before unbuckling his seat belt and and gesturing for me to unbuckle mine. we both step out of the car, and i sigh, c'mon rose, you can do it i scream to my head, as i shrug and push open the door to the club.

harry keeps his hand on my waist as we enter in, and all the things that took place last time, flood in my mind like a massive cyclone, every step, feels like twisting the knife to my heart, deeper and deeper, till it kills my soul entirely.

"you can breathe rose, you can." he shouts in my ear, because of the loud music.

the smell of alcohol and smoke fills the hall, as colorful lights, shine bright everywhere, people, dance crazily on the floor, while some of them are busy, drinking and smoking. i text hayley asking where the hell she is, but she sits on the stool, near the shelf, kissing drake  and ria rolls her eyes, until she spots me coming towards them. hayley is wearing a short golden dress, her shoulders bare as the dress barely covers her thighs and ria wears a red dress with thin straps which touches the ground, a long cut, dividing the dress, showing her right leg, her blonde hair pushed up in a neat bun, as she marches toward me, and hugs me. she seems to be a bit shocked or confused maybe, i can't really read the look on her face, as she examines my whole body like she would swallow me up but she smiles anyway.

i greet hayley and drake before we both grab the stool and take our seats, "where have you been? we've been calling you..since you texted me i guess." she blinks her eyes and then laughs.

"you're out, aren't you." i giggle.

"you know there's this guy, whom i saw kissing a chick in the girls bathroom, was running hastily, out of fear, after some, 10 minutes or so, that was horrible." ria says, with her humor of course, her voice seem a bit cracked but, the way  she speaks, i know, she is probably going to pass out.

harry looks at me with glistening eyes, "i think i should find zayn and niall. wanna come?" he asks me, i look at both of my new friends, who are drunk and really don't care if i should stay here or leave.

"maybe." i say, grinning.

he intertwines his fingers with mine, as we lead our way, at the back yard, of the club, ending up on a big pool party. harry looks at me, giving me is-everything-okay kind of look, as i nod.

zayn and niall, are seated on a big round table, chattering about something or the other and quickly stand up, as soon as they spot us coming towards them, "hey, mate." niall says, playfully punching harry in the gut, "and roselyn." niall's eyes, land on mine, as a smile creeps through his lips.

"rose." i say, "just rose." roselyn seems like a name of nineties, not like my mum and dad don't like old shit. as well as names, though.

zayn just smiles at me as he shakes his hand and hugs harry, while we both head the round table, with harry and niall covering my sides and zayn sits across from me.

"want a drink or something?" zayn offers sweetly.

"no, thanks." i quickly say, i hate drinks, i still don't trust anyone with drinks.

"you're not with hayley today?" naill asks, trying to start a conversation.

"well, she's hooking up with her boyfriend, and drunk completely, so i prefer, i should rather, come here." i smile.

"well that's good because none of us, drinks or smokes." niall says, i look at harry, who's busy with his phone, texting someone, not even paying attention towards any of us.

"let's move upstairs shall we? its very noisy around here." zayn speaks, and again my mind goes back to the time he carried me upstairs, to take advantage of me and probably spoiling my whole life, everything comes crashing in my brain, like i was trying hard not to think about it, like i had been pushing this thought at the back of my mind but, at the end, i reach to the same place, from where i had started. 

i shake my head, to forget everything and i know, the way to do it, to be happy, so that those things won't remind me every moment i did a mistake, and that is, alcohol. i call for the waitor, "i need a drink." i say sternly, feeling harry's eyes glaring at me, followed by niall and zayn.

the waiter puts the white liquid on our table and i stare at the glass, for some mere seconds before quickly grabbing it and gulping it down, i need to forget everything, and anything. i have to move on, and be happy, this is the only way, the only fucking way to escape this urge, this tension, and this hatred!

hello!! i hope you enjoyed this chapter!! vote and comment!! and the ship name is, harlyn, i'm sorry to those who commented for harose, because harlyn had more votes!! anyway, i love you :* :*