Gwendalynn: The Girl With Cancer

Gwendalynn | 32

When I just focused on you and me...

JULY - 2012

"Dark purple?"

"I'm thinking, like, a dark lavender."

I scanned the cans of paint, looking for the designated color. Once I'd found it, I put a few in the cart.

"Do you think that'll be enough?" I asked.

Gwen nodded. "I don't think I'll be able to push this any longer though."

"It's okay." I said, taking the cart into my hands.

She wrapped a hand around my left arm and we continued to walk in the store.

"So... have you talked to any friends?"

I glanced at her only to see she was avoiding eye contact. "I don't want to talk about Noah, Gwen. I thought we went over this."

"I-I know, but still, he's a cool guy and a good friend a-"

"No, he's not."

"What did he do that was so bad?"

I was about to answer, but hesitated. "H-he..."

"He...?"

"He just... isn't as understanding as I thought he was."

"That scares me, Kyle."

"It shouldn't. It's just-"

"I just think you shouldn't throw your friendship with him away so carelessly."

"I'm not. He's the one that did. Me and Ryan have thought about this, Gwen. He's not good."

"But when I met him-"

"I know, he seems all cool and stuff, but he's not."

"Why can't you tell me what happened?"

"I..."

We kept walking silently. Gwen peered up at me, waiting for me to say something, but I never did.

"Fine... I'll just... wait." she said, nodding her head as if she were trying to get herself to agree with her own words.

"I'm sorry-"

"It's okay," she interjected. "It's fine."

I didn't say anything else on the subject. After Gwen and I purchased everything using her parent's money - who were ecstatic about the idea of recreating her room - we drove home. I'd given Gwen my sketchbook to look over. The papers consisted of drawings of what her room could look like.

"So, what do you think?" I asked, glancing to her seat.

She stared at my fourth sketch. "I like the number four."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"We can go with that."

When we got to the house, Gwen opened her garage. Her parents were out working so it was just us. I hauled in the paint cans while she carried the painting brushes. A few days ago, we'd already moved her furniture so we could get started. In about an hour, we were already painting.

I'd brought over some t-shirts Kory hadn't used in years. They fit Gwen better than they fit me. I was slightly bigger than Kory when it came to our body structures.

Gwen looked adorable when she was messy though. She ended up accidentally wiping her face with the lavender paint and whenever she looked at me, I'd smile and realize she was so unbelievably perfect. She'd didn't ask why, she knew I wouldn't tell her.