I'm lost. Never to be found again. I will never make it out of the hell hole. I know this, there is no doubt in my mind that I am going to die in here. I have known that for 5 years now. No one is coming for me. No one cares. Who is going to try to look for a 20-year-old girl? They are too busy looking for the little child that needs help. Or they need to find out what happened to her if they didn't find her on time. So.... I am staying here. Forever. Or at least till I'm long gone and dead. This place is going to be my graveyard, and my bed of nails is going to be my headstone.
What would have happened to me if I wasn't kidnapped? Would Jerry ask me out to prom? Would dad and I stay in that 2 bedroom house? Or would we have to move again?
No matter how hard I think about the good times when mom was alive, I can't seem to remember. They are lost in this new nightmare that I'm forced to live in. Maybe one day I will see her again. I just hope God isn't making her watch over me. I don't want her to see all her grandchildren being taken from me. I don't want to know what happens to them. But I really don't want mom to see what happens to them.
I am being forced to deliver children. The Man that kidnapped me rapes me every day. Once a week he sends in a doctor to see if I'm pregnant. If I'm not... Mother comes into the room. Then she closes the door, and I'm introduced to pain once again for about a week or so. Then I have to try again once she is done burning, cutting, punching, or stretching me.
If I do in fact get pregnant. I get to eat food during the pregnancy and Mother and the Man leave me alone. They only come in to give me food or to check on the baby that is growing inside of me.
I truly think that The Man and Mother need to be put behind bars. Forever. But that isn't going to happen in my lifetime. Or in theirs. I need to be free. But the only freedom that I will receive is in death.
The sound of the thick metal door opening snaps me back into reality. Mother has a candle in her right hand and a bag that has something in it. The bag is dripping. Without thinking, I already know what happened. But why? Why did she do this to him? Is she going to do this with the rest of them? She places the candle down at her feet. The small light that the candle brings lights just half of the room. The other half is covered in darkness.
"I brought you some food," she says in a wicked voice. She walks closer to me. I shake my head no. I can't eat him. No, I'm not going to eat the head of my baby boy.
Tears start running down my face as I mourn for little Joey. That woman killed him! She cut off his head just to hurt me. To bring me lower than I am already. She wants to watch me suffer.
"Come on.... its time to eat!" she yells at me. I don't move, I can't. in all the years I have been here, she never did this.
She throws the bag right by me and she walks over to me and kneels down.
"I said.... its time to eat!" she then grabs the back of my neck and she pushes my face into Joey's bloody small face. His eyes are missing and he is covered in his blood. I feel my lips touch his skin. I can't do this! This is madness!
¨'Mother! I don't want to taste blood or even smell it when it's my turn!¨ The Man yells for the next room. Mother sighs and then lets go of me. I push myself to the wall as fast as I can hoping she won't change her mind.
¨Looks like I have to wash your ass...¨ mother whispers to herself. I try to stand up but because of last weeks beatings, my legs are numb and my left arm is twisted. Mother sees that I am having trouble standing up so she walks out of the door and she comes back a few seconds later with some thick rope and the keys to the chains on my legs. She ties up my hands and then she unlocks the chains.
The Man walks into the room and Mother leaves the room closing the door behind her.
¨ Well well well.... it looks like it is that time again,¨ The Man says with a cold voice. He starts walking closer to me and I try to get free.
"No! please! Not again!" I yell but all he does is a smile.
"Oh, I love it when you scream!
