Home

Everybody has a home
But it seems like
I didn't have one.
Always moving when
I just settled down.
As I grew up,
I learned more about
The tainted world,
More about
People and my mother.
Mommy and daddy
Didn't love each other.
A flower that never bloomed.
Mommy had to leave,
Daddy stayed.
My siblings and I
Went with mother.
3 elementary schools later
And a handful of
Friends withered
In my memory.
Finally we settled
With our grandparents,
But this wasn't home.
Not to me at least.
Then middle school happened,
And I realized something.
I didn't have a father,
But I knew my dad.
So I asked mother
"Mommy, why can't I
Visit daddy."
"Because there are
Bad people in Richmond."
Confusingly I ask
"Arthur can go.
Why can't I?"
"Because you're a girl."
Then it ended
And I realized
As time passed,
I was a girl.
I couldn't do things
Boys did so
I fell back
And I realized.
See, mommy was
Only trying to keep
Me safe and sound.
Mommy had to quit
School for her kids.
All of her life went by.
Still, years passed
And I realized
I became an
Abomination.
Not only to the
Bible but society and
Everything in between.
And soon mommy didn't
See me as I used to be
But her pansexual daughter.
And I was scared
That I wouldn't be
My mother's daughter
But another mouth
To feed or kick
Me out all together.
Years passed and
We continued to move.
I would look to the
Dark night sky,
As dark as my thoughts.
And I realized
And I wondered,
Where would my home be?
In the sunset sky
While the birds fly by.
The trees like a fence
In the background.
Was that my home?
And now I realize
That all throughout
My life that I will
Continue to realize.
I didn't have a
Father like others.
I didn't have a home.
I was pansexual.
And I was me.
And I will realize
That someday
I'll find my home.
And those who say
They don't have one
Will find one as
They realize
Life is life.