Adopted by them

I'm sorry...

~Bailey's POV~

Lidia came down stairs grinning ear to ear.  To be honest, she looked the more presentable than me.  I hate how she is prettier than me.  She's skinnier then me.  I mean I'm not fat but I'm not skinny, either.

My smile faltered.  I looked at everyone.  I looked at Louis and seen he was already looking at me with a concerned face.  I looked away and glanced at Liam.  He looked like he was having a good time but I'm sure he felt my stare because he turned around and looked at me.  Of course, me being me, I looked away.  I looked at Niall as soon as he let out a laugh that felt contagious but I held back my smile and laugh and looked away.  I'm not even going to look at Harry because I know he's giving me the same look as Louis.

I looked at Liam and spoke to him.  "I'm gonna go decorate my room and take a shower." I said trying not to look him in the eye.  Lidia looked at me frightfully.  I know what she's thinking.

"Want me to come help you?"  She asked quickly.  I shook my head and headed up stairs to my room.

I looked around and went to my bag that held a pair of pants, one pair of shorts, and two shirts.  I took them out and went to my closet and put them in the spots they go in.  I took out a pair of undergarments and pajama's.  I went to my bathroom and put them on my cabinet.  I searched in the drawers looking for something particular.  Once I found what I was looking for I turned on the faucet and brushed my teeth.  I turned on the shower and went into another drawer and took out a razor.  I broke it and took out the blade and put the rest of the pieces in the garbage. 

I stepped into the bath and sat down.  I looked at it and all the memories came flooding back.  I pressed the cold blade against my wrist and slit it.  I did it a couple more times then switched to my thigh. I made four more cuts.  I put the blade aside and got my shampoo and conditioner ready.  Once I lathered my hair with shampoo, I put my head in the water and rinsed it out.  I put conditioner in my hair and let it sit for about 4 minutes.  I washed it out and washed my body.  

I got out and got my towel ready when I noticed one of my cuts were deep.  I wrapped the towel around my waist and got peroxide and cleaned them.   I put my clothes on and put my towel up to dry.  I went into my bedroom and moved my covers and went to turn off the light after I turned on my lamp.  I climbed in bed afterwards.  I closed my eyes and started drifting off to sleep when my bedroom door opened and in came curly hair.  I sat up and turned back on my lamp. 

"I came to check on you since you didn't come back downstairs," he said with a small smile.

"I just laid down.  Sorry for not coming back now." I said looking down.  I look back up and saw that his smile faltered.  He walked over to my bed and sat down on the edge of the bed.  

"It's fine.  You don't heave to apologize.  I was just checking that you're okay."  He said looking me in the eyes.  Then I saw that his eyes avert to my wrist.  I looked down at it too.  I forgot that I had on a short sleeved shirt.  I looked back at him and saw he had tears in his eyes.   He looked back at me and stood from the bed and started walking out.

"I'm sorry!" I yelled at him.  He suddenly stopped and slowly turned around looking back at me.  He had tears streaming down his cheeks. It made my heart hurt.  He then turned back around and walked out the door but not without slamming the door, making me flinch from the loudness.

" I'm sorry!" I screamed with tears going down my cheeks. "I'm sorry" I whispered then laid down with my head down in the pillow, and slowly cried myself to sleep.