neighbors | solangelo au

1.5

tw;; ment. depression, depressive thoughts, ment. death

It was a bad day, a bad night, really; things didn't usually get shitty until the sun went down and Nico was alone with his thoughts. He maintained the belief that he wasn't depressed (it was the correct belief, he was sure). He just had good days and bad days. Ups and downs, just like every other person (Nico thought).

Anyway, it was a thoroughly bad night, and his bedroom ceiling was becoming Nico's new least favorite thing, so he changed into a pair of jeans and quietly slipped out the back door into the yard. They had this old as fuck swing set from when Bianca and him were kids, and Nico seated himself on the weathered plastic, turning his music up slightly too much, but honestly, he was beyond giving a shit about his eardums, or whatever.

He couldn't pinpoint exactly what he felt bad about. Nico's self-esteem, while unheathily low, was not the issue. He wasn't being bullied at school (he estranged himself from everyone before that could happen) nor was his family in a bad situation (his media-based, spoonfed idea of a broken home included poverty and physical abuse), and, though he was a generally oblivious rich kid, he had enough consciousness of the world's problems to feel bad for feeling like shit.

No, Nico just had a general dissatisfaction with the world. Had someone asked him why he hated almost everything and everyone, and why the world was shit, and why he was sitting on an old swing set at two in the morning, close to tears, he wouldn't have been able to answer.

All in all, the surprise he felt when Will fell into the seat beside him wasn't able to overcome the fog that had descended over his mind, and he looked over at Will dully.

"Hi," Will said, with a sigh. "Can't sleep?"

"Something like that." Nico tried to think; had it been two or three days since he'd gone with Will for frozen yogurt? He knew, somewhere in his mind, he could find the answer, but it was so hard to give a shit when the night air cut into him like a knife and the moonlight was slowly giving him a headache and everything seemed to be working against him, except, he decided, whatever god or angel or act of fate had brought Will Solace to his side.

"Me too." Will dug his foot into the ground a bit, wrapping his fingers around the chain that held the swing up.

Nico took out an earbud and offered it to Will. "Wanna listen to some emo music with me?"

"You know me too well, and it's only been like a week and a half." Will accepted, and they allowed Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance to perfectly manifest their teenage angst.

"Why'd you guys move here?" His question was sudden, but Nico felt the need to make conversation, to focus on something.

Will exhaled jaggedly; Nico wasn't sure if it was a almost-laugh or a suppressed sob. "Okay, uh, if you say so. Actually, um, the house was my mom's, and we moved here when she, uh, died."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Fuck. Nico immediately regretted bringing it up. Hearing an apology never made loss easier, he knew, but he felt obligied to say something. Now he really felt like shit for feeling like shit: here was someone with actual problems. Nico was playing at the emotion of sadness compared to what Will probably felt.

Will lifted one shoulder. "Thanks, I guess, but yeah..." He trailed off for a second, and Nico placed his elbow on his knee, propping up his chin on his palm, watching Will.

"Anyway, the mortgage caught up with my dad, so we moved here. Apparently the house has been in my mom's family for ages, but she hated the people in the neighborhood so we never moved in when she inherited it."

"Oh," Nico said. "I feel like I should be offended, but I know I'm an asshole, so..."

Will almost fully laughed this time, and Nico felt like he'd done some good in the world, despite realizing too late that he'd again managed to make everything about him and hating himself for it.

"I don't think she would've thought so," Will replied. "She saw the good in people, I guess, when those people weren't flaunting their Ferraris in each other faces and going on about their problems as if the greatest injustice in the world was them not getting to go to the obscure Caribbean island they wanted to."

"She sounds nice," Nico said, switching his gaze to the back door of the house.

"She was."

"We must seem so horrible to you," Nico said softly a few minutes later.

Will shrugged. "Pain is relative, they say. And it's not like my dad and I are starving. There're people much worse off than us, you know? Like, at least we don't live in a third-world country, and we have running water and rights and shit. Anyway, it's been some time, and bad days are kinda rare now."

Nico nodded. "That's good, I guess you're right."

He wanted to ask how long it'd been since Will's mom died, but he'd fucked up enough already, so he kept his mouth shut. It was getting to the point in the night where his eyes had begun to hurt, and Nico's head felt heavy, but thoughts were still bouncing around in his head and he figured that the music blaring in his ear and Will next to him were the only things keeping him from screaming into his hands to try and be louder than his thoughts but his mind was so fucking loud. Nico kind of wanted to let himself fall backwards off the swing; maybe he'd hit his head and get knocked unconscious. No, he thought. Because then I'd end up sleeping on the ground and probably hurt my back. Or Will would feel like he had to call an ambulance or something and that wouldn't be a good experience for anyone.

"What are you thinking about?" Will asked, with a half smile. "You're making a weird face."

"Oh, um..." Nico grimaced. "I was thinking about what would happen if I just fell backwards off this swing and knocked myself out."

"You are so weird." Will almost laughed again. "Though, I might just leave you on the ground, if that did happen," he added after a second

"Thanks," Nico said sarcastically. "I'm so glad to know that you'll have my back in a crisis."

"No problem, I'm always here to help."

He ended up sounding kinda genuine, and, despite the general shittiness of the night, Nico was becoming increasingly convinced that having a friend would be a good thing.
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angsty chapter, yay? idk how well written this one was. anyway, now we know a bit of will's backstory. it gets happier from here (for a while, at least), don't worry.

next update soonish?? i don't really have a plan for the next chapter so i can't solidify a next update time.

xo - lucy