Kuroko no Basuke x Reader

Forgive Me {Akashi Sejuurou}

Requested by @JenniCreated
Warning(s): angst, character death
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"Sei, aren't you excited?! Our baby is due soon!"

"Of course I'm excited, (f/n)! We'll finally get to see what our wonderful son looks like."

Akashi hugged you and held you in his arms, slowly running his hand over your swollen abdomen. He took your hand in his and kissed it gently before pressing gentle kisses against your cheek.

Everything about you felt so real and he wanted to stay with you forever.

But his phone woke him up.

He groggily opened his eyes and turned off the alarm he'd set on his phone. "(F/n)," he murmured as he started to turn towards your side of the bed, "I'm sorry if that woke you up, my dar... ling..." He trailed off when he noticed the cold emptiness beside him and remembered the harsh reality he had to face.

You weren't coming back.

He sighed deeply as he sat up, rubbing his eyes and running his hands through his hair. He eventually moved out of bed and stood on his feet even though his muscles quivered beneath him. As he walked towards the bathroom, a sudden wave of anxiety and self-hatred hit him, and he collapsed onto the floor of his bedroom. His knees hit the ground hard but nothing could make him feel as much pain as your absence.

Just a week ago, Akashi had driven you to the hospital when you'd complained of having contractions. He'd helped you into the hospital and sat with you in your room as you went into labor, but it was arduous for you—more so than anyone had expected.

Unfortunately, enduring the complicated birth of your child was the last thing you did before you died. Your child had been born with a rare disease called Harlequin Ichthyosis and hadn't been able to survive longer than a few minutes, despite the nurses' attempts to save him. They hadn't been able to save you either.

In that room, Akashi lost everyone he cared about at once. He'd been expecting to enter with you and leave with you and your wonderful baby boy, but he'd lost both of you and had left the hospital alone.

At first, he thought the whole event had to be some kind of nightmare and that he would wake up soon to find you peacefully sleeping next to him. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't wake up because everything was real. Nobody had expected it to happen, and not even he could've saved you from it before it happened.

He sat at your funeral, his eyes blank and lost. He'd barely said a word, but he refused to leave your grave and your son's grave long after the two of you had been buried. His friends tried to console him, but nothing worked. He was hostile towards anyone who tried to take him away from your grave, and his friends eventually let him be.

The days that followed your funeral had been filled with unbearable suffering. He broke down at least once every single day. He felt lost and insecure, and he'd constantly tormented himself, telling himself that your death and the death of his son were his fault. He couldn't forgive himself.

All he had left of you were memories, and those memories came to him in dreams, tricking him into thinking that you were still alive and that everything was okay. Your warmth felt so real, and your voice was so sweet and melodic that he expected to wake up to find you snuggled up next to him.

Now, he felt as if he was going to go insane. He slammed his hands on the floor and growled, "Damn it! This is all my fault! This is all my fault!" Tears filled his eyes and poured down his cheeks as he continued to pound his fists against the floor. "I'm never going to forgive myself! I did this to you! I hate myself!"

A murderous rage gripped him, and he ran into the bathroom before grabbing a drawer and ripping it out of the storage area underneath the skin. The content of the drawer spilled out onto the floor loudly, and his hand desperately grabbed the deathly sharp pair of scissors that you used to cut his hair with. His shaky hands clutched them and raised them so that the sharp tips of the blades were facing his throat.

"Seijuurou!"

He heard your voice in his head, filled with worry and fear, and he looked around the bathroom. "(F/n)?" he called.

"Seijuurou, put those scissors down right now!"

More tears rolled down his cheeks as he closed his eyes and refused to move. "But I can't do this anymore! I can't live a life without you! I don't want to," he replied, his voice broken and distraught as he struggled to keep what little sanity he had left.

"Sei, put the scissors down." After a few moments, he threw the scissors onto the floor with a loud clatter and put his face in his hands. "Come meet me at my grave, my love; I want to talk to you."

Your husband obeyed your command and started to get dressed. He washed his face off with cold water and examined the dark circles under his eyes and his pallor. He then left his mansion and drove to the cemetery before walking to your grave.

It still shocked him to see the names of his wife and of his son engraved on the adjacent gravestones. He approached your gravestone and sat down next to it, looking over at you when you appeared next to him.

"Sei," you began softly as you sat down next to him and ran your across his cheek. He could barely feel the coldness of your gentle touch, and it made him shiver as he craved to hold you again in his arms. "Don't do this to yourself, baby."

"What else am I supposed to do? You and (son's name) were the only people I truly loved. You meant the world to me. And now you're both gone because of me..." he responded, his voice wavering as he fought back more tears.

"None of that was your fault. Stop beating yourself up over it, please. Nobody knew it was coming and it couldn't be prevented or helped," you explained softly. He leaned back and rested against your gravestone as he watched you. "Don't blame yourself. I don't want you to punish yourself. I don't want you to end your life."

"What else am I supposed to do?! I don't want to live without you!" he cried.

"I want you to continue with your life," you told him, "I want you to live on and move past this."

"Can you forgive me?" he asked quietly, his voice barely a whisper.

"This wasn't your fault, but if you want me to forgive you, then I will. I forgive you and I love you more than anything else, and I'm sure our son would've felt the same. I want you to live because I love you, so don't even think about coming to see me until you're truly ready," you said. You tried to wipe his tears from his face, but they passed straight through your fingers.

He was silent and still for a long time before he nodded slowly. You gave him a warm smile and pressed a kiss against his forehead that you hoped he'd be able to feel.

"I love you, and I always will."

"I love you too, (f/n). I'll never forget you."

He gazed into your beautiful (e/c) eyes and smiled before you faded away, and he was left staring at a tree full of flowers off in the distance.