Anxiety

People of the universe!

McKay Miller

Anxiety
Anx·i·e·ty
Noun 
1. A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
  I have decided to write this new essay on anxiety. Mostly because most people don't really think about it that much, or understand it. I mean everyone has anxious moments now and again. But what some don't realize is how horrible it can be for a person who has it long term. Nor do they know the whole depth of it. I mean even that dictionary definition is not exactly true. Sure it tells what the word means, but its most definitely not what it is. Lots of people just assume that anxiety is no big deal and that whoever it is will get over it. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that everyone does this. Some people try to understand and help others with this. But they still do not fully understand the true horrors and pains that anxiety can cause. And one of the main reasons for this is because most people that do have excessive anxiety don't want you to know. Well, actually that's not entirely true. Let me rephrase that, they want you to know but they don't what you to find out. Confused? Well you should be. Because the fact of the matter is that they don't even really understand it either. That is most do not. But I bet that there are a few very smart people with lots of common sense who understand it perfectly. Well, I am not one of those people, but I will do my best to explain what I do know as well as what I think.
    Now in order for me to help you understand that better I'm going to have to give you some insight on what anxiety is like and how the attacks feel. This is generally something very hard to do accurately. Because it is different for everyone. Some people may interpret the feeling differently, or even feel different all together. So know that I'm not stating fact, at least not fact that applies to everyone. But I do know that this is how some of the people react and feel with anxiety. To my understanding, an anxiety attack is when a person gets an overwhelming fear of a situation that normally should not or does not enact a feeling of fear. Meaning that this person is full to the brim with complete and almost tangible fear. So much so that they may shake or cry. And the worst part, is that they don't even know why. Have absolutely no idea why they are literally shaking with fear. Which as you can imagine, makes them even more afraid or stressed and is quite terrifying. Now people who experience this often will naturally be better at hiding the symptoms. Why would they do that? Because they do not want to be hurt or pitied. They only want help, they cannot do it alone and assistance letting the pain go. Sometimes even those who know how to let it go can't for reasons that they themselves cannot interpret. This is the scariest part of anxiety attacks. That children, teenagers, and even adults suffer from this day after day, and no-one knows how bad it really is because they are so good at hiding it. Even if some of the people around them know that they have anxiety, they do not know half of the horrors it brings. Because the more experience you have had with it. The easier it is to hide, and the stronger it pushes for control. Plus in some cases the more frequent it occurs.
Some people might say, well than don't hide it, let it out and it will be easier right? Well that may be true for most cases. But it's not as easy as you think. First of all they have been hiding it for years at least by now and it has become second nature to push it down when it comes. But also pertaining to that, it is scary to let something that you have kept inside for such a long time get out and shoe itself is hard. Especially when the reason you started to hide is because of other people, mostly your loved ones. Of course they did not mean to or even know in most cases that they were doing it. But they were. And that's why these people have become an unfeeling thing. Most are even good at hiding the fact that they are hiding it. By helping others, yea a good thing but people with anxiety usually try to make other people as happy and loved as possible either because they don't what anyone to feel like they do, or merely for the fact they it helps them to feel again, for real but only for a second, so they keep going.
But holding all this in is really hard, so normally the affected person will try to tell someone some of how they feel. Most of the time only a little at first, testing the waters. Sometimes they will not be very good at sharing their feelings so it may sound ridiculous or silly. But try to take everything they say seriously. You never know. Because, occasionally they will be put down and discouraged. Tolled to get over it, being ridiculous. Etc. And it hurts. These comments are what keep the resolve to hide so strong. Usually the person who hurts them does not even know that they are doing it.
So people with anxiety will eventually find one person they can trust to tell some of their story, but usually the past years keep them from telling one person everything, so they tell a little to one person, more to another, etc.

"Just the boy inside the man, not really who you think I am... I feel a million miles away still you connect me in your way and you've created me something I would've never seen when I can only see the floor you made my window a door....you're the only one who know who I really am. We all whanna be somebody we just need a taste of who we are."(Be somebody, thousand foot Krutch)

Oh there is so much more I want to say but I have already gone over the limit. But just remember, never treat someone's fear or pain like it is insignificant and that they should suck it up. Because you never know if they are trying to show you a part of them. So just be kind.

"I used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong... now I can't breathe no, I can't sleep I'm barely hanging on. Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes

"I told you everything Opened up and let you in You made me feel alright For once in my life Now all that's left of me Is what I pretend to be So together, but so broken up inside Cause I can't breathe No, I can't sleep I'm barely hanging' on" (behind these hazel eyes, Kelly Clarkson)