Chapter 5

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You hate Mondays. No amount of coffee or positive thinking changes how you feel on Mondays. You hate your job, but especially on Mondays. Only half the day has crawled by but to you it feels like it's already the end of the day. You fucking wish. All morning you've been randomly smiling to yourself thinking about the weekend though. It was fun, it was hard being around Camila because frankly you don't know how you feel about her, or you do you just don't want to vocalize or think about it, like ever. You're in Starbucks with Ally at lunchtime as per usual. You look across to her and wonder why you're constantly comparing your relationship with Camila to your one with Brad. Why not Ally? Comparing Camila to Ally would be far more appropriate, since they're now both your friends.

Camila doesn't feel like just a friend though.

You're also pretty sure that you've never wanted to touch Ally, or talk to her for hours on end about herself or maybe even kiss her.

You sigh miserably; you don't even see Camila today to cheer you up. Well technically she would scare the crap out of you, make you laugh, make you want to cry then after it you'd still feel a little happier. Whatever.

"What is wrong with you, you're so grumpy...I mean...more than usual," Ally says to you with a shrug and folds up her newspaper.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You're not pregnant are you?" Ally asks seriously.

"No," you snort.

"Oh that's right, you and Brad don't have much sex these days do you?" Ally says sassily and drinks her tea nonchalantly.

"What the actual fuck Hernandez" you frown at her, "that's none of your god damn business, I'm just tired and feeling down lately, remember?"

"Daww," Ally coos mockingly. "So, what's up?"

That's the thing about Ally, you feel like pouring your soul out to her then slapping her. Sometimes you do both.

"Was Camila ever," you pause and ponder how to put it, "inappropriate with you?"

Ally laughs softly. "Depends what you mean," she says and leans forward, clasping both hands in front of her on the table. "Her methods for making me forget about Troy's death were...strange...but they worked so I was thankful"

"What did she do?" you ask quickly. You can't imagine Camila being the way she is with you with Ally too. You hate to admit it but you want to be the only one Camila looks at like the way she does, you want to be the only one she touches, it makes you feel special. Like you've been singled out to be worthy of such attention.

"I can't tell you that," Ally says lowering her voice. "Plus, you'd just laugh so" she says and looks away.

"Aw, c'mon tell me" you smirk and plead to her. "I promise I won't laugh, well I can't actually promise that but c'mon Ally please?"

You try pouting at her.

She rolls your eyes at your effort but clears her throat.

"One time she asked me to bring in some of Troy's old clothes, like a full outfit?"

You nod listening eagerly.

"Well," Ally continues and laughs a little, "Little did I know that she wanted them because she dressed up as Troy, even had a wig and everything"

You clasp your hand to your mouth and laugh. "You're fucking kidding me, right? Why on earth would she do that? I mean I know she's crazy but-"

"She spoke to me as Troy...well...kind of. Part of the reason I felt guilty over Troy is that we argued before he left that day and I never got the chance to say sorry, I never even got the chance to say goodbye. So she sat, as Troy, and told me to say out loud everything I ever wanted to say to Troy. As bizarre as it was, it was incredibly therapeutic, still to this day I've never felt such relief in all my life."

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