I had my first panic attack when I was in 5th grade. When I was just starting to realize the true nature of this family.
From then on, everything got worse. I found that when I was an avid member of this family, I was having anxiety attacks every day. I couldn't eat, or sleep, I couldn't remember anything if you put a gun to my head. My grades were sinking and I hated myself. I was dying and I knew it. This stress was going to kill me, I knew I wouldn't live past 13, as sad as that is.
But then, once I stopped talking to you, once I abandoned the idea of this family, I was better. It took a while but I was gradually putting myself back together.
My anxiety was almost nonexistent, I had an appetite, I could sleep for more than an hour at a time. I was getting better. I am getting better.
You may call me shallow and cold. That I am selfish for even taking this endeavor. And you're right. I was selfish. But I was selfish because I had to be.
I made the hard decision to keep myself. To take care of myself before I even looked at any of your faces. I did what I had to because no one else was going to save me.
This may sound harsh but the decision I made, that I'm making, to stay away from the lies and the drama, from the hatred and anger, will always be my choice. And I will never regret that
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No Longer A Victim
PoetryFor a long time I was a victim of abuse from family and friends. And in some ways I still am, but I refuse to dwell on the past and instead look forward to the future. This is a collection of poems or short ramblings that I wrote in my time of darkn...
