lives of the scarred

Five: Matt

It's my third day here and we just got back from group, now doing "room time" aka 'write in your journal about your feelings and thoughts so when you leave for lunch we (the staff) can go through it and see what you aren't telling us. So the two other fucked up ponies told their stories and I told them of a magical place up in space with rainbows and ribbons and curls!!! I wish. Really I already met Fiona on my second day but we have to introduce ourselves to the new kid Justin. The first thing I said was that I was gay, one to see his reaction, two to just get it over with. All Fiona said was that she doesn't belong here with crazy people, note the fact that she was eye fucking him as she said this...and he just stared at her breasts for five minutes until he said that he had schizophrenia. Great people right?

Whatever it's not like i can be one to judge I'm here too.

The thing is though, people keep trying to change me, don't they realize that a person is born the way they are and that there's no changing that? That maybe you should change yourself to see the good in all people no matter what? For example I could just be like them and say oh my god Fiona is crazy and she needs to be locked up because who knows what else will happen if she gets out of here and continues down the path she is going. OR I could be myself and say hey, what made her end up like this? what happened to her that was so bad that she had to resort to drinking and popping pills to make herself happy? And with Justin! He honestly shouldn't even be here unlike me and my wanting to die, he has a different way of seeing things, actually he sees things in every way possible how is that a bad thing? Yes there is a chance he may go "crazy" because of his "condition", get a therapist for him don't send him here! All you are going to do is make his crazy come faster not figure him out!