Waiting In Spring

Favorite Child

I am not the favorite child

For my mother it's my youngest sister

For my dad, I'm not sure, but It's not me

Because the favorite child doesn't dream a different dream

Then what the parent sees for them

She doesn't have a different attitude

Than the parent wants from them

They can't see the world how the parent wants them to see

And they don't understand why the child cries

When they take something from them

They tell me to "listen to them" 

And I ask "Do you listen to me?"

Because I'm listening

But I still don't see the same thing

I still can't understand what you mean

I don't understand what's so wrong with me?

What's so wrong with dreaming what I dream?

I'm not selling drugs

I'm not smoking weed

I'm not fighting

I just want to be me

I want to create and write in a artistic way

But they just don't see

And I don't blame it on them

I blame it on our lives

We grew up in different cultures in different styles

So I may be my parent's child

But I'm not the apple that fell from their tree

I'm not the apple that will become what they want me to be

They don't understand how it feels to be forced 

Somewhere you don't want to go

And the fact that they don't support what I want tells me

They don't have faith that I could make it big

That I could find a steady life in my writing and my drawing

And not in the sciences they are sure I'll be fine in

They don't understand that I don't want to

I don't like school

And if I wanted to I could be a hermit or a hobo for all I cared

That I don't want to waste my time on classes

That I'm not even a little bit interested in

Because I know life is too short

And too short to be wasting my time on that

To take a class I won't need 10 years from now

And I don't understand how they can think 

That they can compare

Me to the others

And that I could do the same

They are not ME.

And I was afraid of this

That after finally

Finally

Knowing what I wanted to do

They would reject it

They wouldn't support me

They would think I was taking the easy way out

That they're not trying to negotiate with me

They want me to do what they want

And the sad thing is I was right.