The Way

one: what are we?

Mirabella POV

" What are we ?", i wanted to so desperately ask him.

"Do you love me yet? Will i no longer be a secret ?" But you know i could never build up the courage to ask these things. Not because i was afraid of him, but because of the fear of his answers. Answers i didn't want to face or hear.

Or because i already knew the responses. " Nothing, We are nothing but an friendship", " No i will never love you ". " Yes, you will forever be a secret".

Nathan

. I wanted him and he didn't want me back. Well he did want me,but not as bad as i wanted him. I forgot to mention he has a girlfriend or ex girlfriend, i really cant keep up with their status.

But here i am cuddled up next to him in his bed. I cant get mad when i see him with Valerie because im not his girlfriend. Valerie is well Valerie. She is skinny and has blue eyes with perfectly aligned teeth. She fits the profile for someone who would be dating or even just smashing Nathan, quarter back of the football team and country club golden boy.

You probably think I'm over exaggerating but no I wish I was but I'm not . At my school this is how it is.

On the other hand , im just some random black girl with nothing to offer but my body and big lips.

im irrelevant and not worthy to be seen in public with Nathan. He never once asks me about my college choices, or my future.

If he only knew thats all i thought about,
going to college near him and how i thought about a future with him and having pretty mixed babies.

But no, when we are together its just small talk, sex and leave. Nothing more than a quick release, then he is on to the love of his life. Valerie. How i wish to be loved like that. i envy the way he looks at her and treats her like princess even when there broken up.

The way he loves her with not any sex involved. He never takes me anywhere, no dates , no movie nights or walks in the park.

Sometimes i want our fling to end but i still have hope that he will see something in be besides lust.

He will notice how pretty i am on the inside , how selfless and kind i am. i still hope that he finally loves me and isn't ashamed of us.

But months have gone by and now were seniors and still nothing. In a few months it will be our year anniversary, he probably doesn't care to know but i wish he did.

" Well i have to go somewhere would you mind leaving", Nathan asked but sounded more like a demand, snapping me out of my thoughts.

" Okay sure where are you going?  ", I responded.

" Somewhere why you wanna know ?", he answered

I didn't respond sensing his slight attitude

I got up and put on my jacket and slipped on my booties. " Well see you later have fun", i spoke lighlty smiling looking back for a response.

Nathan stayed silent texting on his phone.

I just walked out and jogged down the stairs.

He never came to my house , i always came to him, he sets the time and date. When ever hes in the mood he'll call sweet talk me and than bam!

I thought to myself as I began driving home.

Im in his arms and when hes done playing he just tosses me away. I leave and than he sees HER. We never interact in public or any were open were people can recongize us.