How To Bathe A Cat

One of the hardest parts of owning a cat would be bathing it. Almost any cat owner you ask would say the same. For some reason, cats have a very large aversion to bath time. I would even go so far as to say they like baths less than three year old children do. After much hard work and many wounds, the best way to bathe a cat has been discovered.

            In order to bathe a cat, one must first own a cat. If you don't own a cat, I suggest looking outside your door for any strays, as they don't require you to work to regain their love. However, if you are not quite so lucky, I would propose buying one from a pet store, adopting one from the pound, or finding someone who is trying to sell or give some cats away. Another alternative would be to cat-nap your neighbor's feline for the time necessary to complete this bath.

            Before you are able to give the cat a bath, you must ensure you have all the proper equipment. A clean, preferably larger, toilet is needed. You will also need all the proper soaps – maybe a de-frizzing soap, a flea-ridding soap, and a soap that smells pretty – and a towel nearby. It is probably best to keep the cat contained – in a box or cage of some sort – until you are completely ready for this event to take place.

            Pour a small amount of soap in the toilet to start off with. Then, you must drop the cat in there and quickly shut the toilet lid. I cannot stress enough how quickly this must be done if you do not wish to be attacked by a wet, angry feline. Once the cat has settled a bit, quickly lift the lid, pour more soap (not a large amount, mind you) and set the lid back down. The next step is to flush several times. Do not worry about the noises coming from the toilet, it is just the cat expressing its enjoyment of the massaging sensation that occurs from the rushing water.

            Once you've flushed a few times and you are confident the cat is free from suds, make sure your towel is nearby and ready. It may be helpful to have a second person with you. Lift the toilet lid and catch your feline friend with the towel. Vigorously rub them with the towel in order to dry. You may need to use a blow dryer to speed up this process or thoroughly dry it.

            After all of this your cat will probably hate you. If you simply snatched a stray or borrowed your neighbor's cat, then you will be okay. However, if you used your own cat, then you will probably spend the rest of your life groveling to get back in your cat's good books. You should offer treats, strings, laser lights, boxes, and anything else you even think your cat may enjoy. You may even have to give up your bed for years. Despite all of this, it will be well worth it once you have a clean, good smelling, frizz-less, no-fleas-please cat.