My Youtube Boyfriend (a Joey Graceffa fanfic)

10

THANKS FOR ALL THE BIRTHDAY WISHES I LOVE U ALL





I finally stopped crying and Kalel and I squeezed into my hospital bed and set my laptop on one each of our legs, watching Netflix. I blew my nose once and a while, sniffling too. My mom would be here tomorrow morning and Joeys mom would be here tomorrow evening. His father and his girlfriend would be here later this week. Kalel finished our movie on Netflix and I was ready to sleep. She said bye to Anthony and he left the hospital to go sleep at home. I wasn't stable enough to leave and with all the panic attacks I probably needed to be here.


*i*n*d*a*m*o*r*n*i*n*g*

I woke with a start, very sweaty and scared. I had another nightmare about Joey. I trudged into the bathroom and turned on the faucet, splashing cold water on my face. I looked in the mirror and almost gasped. My hair was a mess and my face looked bony and pale. I had dark circles under my eyes and was shaky and weak. I took a deep breath and walked back to my lumpy hospital bed and sat on it. I crossed my legs and pulled te blanket over them. I listened to the shoes squeak in the hall while I stared at the ceiling. The doctor walked into my room with my mother.

"Hi," I whispered. I did not want to cry. She ran over and gave me a hug. Kalel woke up and she squeezed her too.

"Are you okay?!"

"Not really my arm hurts, I can't sleep, I have panic attacks everyday. And Joey..." My voice cracked and I trailed off. Kalel took my hand and said, "Joey doesn't remember anything from the last few months."

"Y/n....I'm so sorry. Do the doctors know if hell re-" I shook my head no, blinking back tears. I took a deep breath and brushed my hair out of my face.

"How long are you staying?" I changed the subject.

"As long as I need to, you aren't getting any better," I nodded my head.

"Do you want to go see Joey?" Kalel asked me and I nodded again. I wobbly stood up and shuffled my feet down the hall to room 346. I peaked in the door to see Joey on his laptop.

"Hi," Kalel sat down next to his bed on the couch and I plopped down next to her.

"Hi Kalel, Hi....y/n right?"

I tried to smile, "Yep."

"Do you know when I get to leave?" Joey asked.

"In a few months," Kalel answered, "They need to see if you get your memory back," Joey nodded. "I'm going to let you two talk," Kalel said loud enough that Joey might have been able to hear. She patted my arm and left the room. I scooted into Kalels spot on the couch, closer to Joeys bed.

"So I uh....watched a few videos that we made..." Joey mumbled.

"Yeah..."

"I-I still don't remember but I looked really happy. So uh, thanks."

"Yeah, yeah umm no problem."

"How serious were we?"

"Well umm.....pretty serious."

"Did we-"

"Ya know what, ill be right back," I ran out of his room and Kalel was waiting in the hall. "Kalel?!" I loudly whispered.

"What?" I pulled her close to me.

"He still thinks he's a virgin!" I screamed in a whispery way.

"Oh my god!"

"Do I tell him..?"

"That you had sex? No!"

"What if he asks. Like he doesn't even remember his first time. This is terrible!"

"Do not tell him. He will probably be creeped out and just let him believe he is still a virgin."

"Okay... Thanks" I took a deep breath and walked back inside. Joey was laughing at something on his laptop. "Whatcha laughing at?"

"Just a video with you in it,"

I mumbled in response. "I'll be back," I walked to my hospital room and dug around in my suitcase. I pulled out a layered tee and a pair of skinny jeans. I walked into the bathroom and changed into that. I set my hospital gown on my bed and went back into Joeys room.

"Do you want anything from the cafeteria? I heard they have chicken,"

"How did you know I lik- oh right. Sure yeah...chicken," I walked to the elevator and pushed the button for the first floor. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. I saw my reflection in the silver elevator doors and I looked worse than I did this morning. My hair was brushed but frizzy and out of control. My face was ghostly white and thin. The elevator dinged and I walked on to the white tiled floor. I found my way to the cafeteria nothing looked good bit if I didn't eat something I would have to be force-fed. I grabbed a plate of chicken for Joey and a sandwich for myself and walked back to the elevator. It stopped on the third floor and walked to room 246. I handed Joey the chicken.

"Thanks," he smiled. I sat down and started to eat. It tasted okay but I didn't feel hungry. I ate almost half the sandwich and walked into the bathroom. I stared at myself in the big mirror that ran the length of the bathroom wall. I stared at my stomach and my thighs. I snapped out of it when Joey appeared in the doorway.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Oh this is uh....new outfit," I lied.

"It looks nice," he complimented before walking away. If he remembered he would know it wasn't a new outfit, he would tell me to stop and that I shouldn't do this to myself he would pull me close and whisper in my ear that I was beautiful and he would tell Kalel and she would talk to me and we would spend the day together and she would take my mind off it. But things are different now and that's not going to happen.

(I promise you the story will get better!!)

The hospital let me go out shopping with my mother and Kalel.

*a*f*t*e*r*

Kalel dropped us off at the hospital and took our things back to the house. My mom went back up to my room. I went into Joeys room and saw him mom Debra, sitting next to him.

"Y/n!" She chirped. She ran over and pulled me in to a hug, being careful not to bump my arm. "It's great to finally meet you!"

"It's nice to meet you too," I smiled, the first real one in a while.

"Oh Joey talked so much about you when he....you know...remembered,"

"I get it," I snapped but realized it came out harsher than I thought. "Debra I'm so sorry I just-" she smiled.

"It's alright sweetie. I understand."

"Thank you," I sighed and we both sat down on the couch next to Joeys bed.


(I write my stories on my iPod and I
Don't have wifi while I'm at my dads. Although I do have a phone with the wattpad app (it's an android phone) and I can comment and see your comments but my stories are saved on my iPod so therefore I can't update until I get wifi.)

"Mom, how do you know y/n?" Joey furrowed his brow.

"You used to talk about her all the time." She cooed. "You were really in love,"

I took a deep breath and bit my tongue.

"Really?" Joey asked.

I nodded and his mom patted his hand. "I hope your memory comes back because I never saw you happier when you were with y/n,"

"Wow..." Joey sighed.

"I'm going to go get something to eat," Debra shrugged and exited Joeys room.

"W-was I really in love?" Joey questioned.

"I....I mean I think so...y-you acted-" I gulped, "You acted like it,"

"D-did you love me?"

"Yes.....I did. Very very much," I said quietly.

"What did we talk about?"

"We talked about lots of things. Happy things, sad things, funny things, serious things," I looked at Joey and saw he wanted me to elaborate more.

"We talked about having kids and how many we wanted, we played hungercraft, we told people things we never told anyone. I know that you secretly put hot sauce in your sisters tomato soup all time because she used to make you eat it and you hate tomatoes."

"Oh my god, I've never told anyone that,"

"Hell, we promised each other we'd married,"

"Holy crap,"

"You probably still have our messages on your phone, if you don't I do, you can look at them if you want." Joey shuffled around in the sheets for his phone and pulled it out.

"Uh...what's my password?"

"Oh um it's our anniversary 0126. January 26th."

"Oh could you write that down for me, there's a pen on the table over there," I nodded and stood up, walking over to the little table by the tv and scribbled the numbers. I brought the paper back to Joey and sat down. "Thanks," he mumbled.

"I'm gonna go now," I whispered. "Back to my room I mean. Bye lov-" I cut myself off. "Bye,"

*l*a*t*e*r*

I was laying face down on the hospital bed listening to Paramore.