I'm not that type of person that goes for everything I want. In fact, I'm the total opposite of that person...but when it comes to this, I just have to. I never believed love existed. After heart break after heart break. I just gave up on love. My case is totally different. Number one, my name is Joey. So, I'm a guy...right? Yes. Number two, I'm in love with someone who has silver-lavender hair named Tyler Oakley. Also a guy. So surprise, I'm gay. Or bisexual if you want to get technical. Tyler is openly gay, but I haven't came out to anyone yet. Not my parents. Not my closest friends. No one. It's really hard...being in love. You know what's harder? Them being in love with someone else. At least I think he is.
So many pictures of him with other people. So many videos. So overwhelming. When all I want, is just to hold him and tell him everything that I've been keeping inside. Is that to much to ask for? Yeah, it probably is. Me, kissing his temple softly, and stroking his back while he stares with admiration into my eyes, while playing with my hair. That's what I consider perfect in a relationship. Most people consider it sex and making out in public. Not to me. Just me and him. Being with each other. Holding each other. Cuddling. Eye gazing. Playing with each others fingertips. Telling them stuff you have never told a soul. That's my idea of a perfect relationship.
Everyone knows me for being protective of my feelings. At least I like to think of myself like that...but deep down inside, I'm not. Especially when it comes to Tyler. His hair. His style. His laugh. His personality. How his eyes scrunch when he smiles. Just...him. Is perfect. Seems really cleshe. All I want...is Tyler. Tyler Oakley. To be my partner. To be mine.
"Joey!" A husky voice snaps me out of my daydream. That voice belongs to my roommate, Sawyer Hartman. "Wake up! It's eleven!" He said. I groaned and wiped the sweat from my forehead. I don't know why he wants me up. We usually wake up at different times . "Why?" I whined. "I don't know! We can go to the gym or something." I rolled my eyes. "Well I object! So go to the gym by yourself. " I argued. I felt like I could hear him roll his eyes. "Fine. Be fat! See you later!" Sawyer said. "Bye!" I said.
"Oh! One more thing! I'm going to be filming a collab with Tyler later on. So, don't be confused if he gets here early." Sawer said. My heart skipped a beat. "Tyler Oakley?" I choked out. "Yes. Now I have to go." I heard the front door open then close. I smiled to myself. Maybe this day will have a meaning to it. I quickly got myself up and into the shower. Making sure every dirty part of me is clean. When I got out, I fixed my hair and brushed my teeth. I put on a pair of dark skinny jeans and a red flannel. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Not perfect, but presentable. Which is all I need. I walked to the kitchen to make my every day breakfast, while vlogging. I like the camera. It's the only source where I can be myself. My weird, anya, self. I finished my breakfast, and cleaned up after myself, until I heard knocking at the door. My heart skipped ANOTHER beat.
Tyler. I slowly turned of the sink, and walked toward the door, as casual as I could. I opened the door and saw Tyler. His little petite figure smiling at me. "Hi there!" I said. Whoops. "Hi, how are you?" He cheered. His eyes rose up. "Good, good. Sawer is at the gym right now. He should be back in about 20 minutes. "Oh! I'm always early!" I smiled. "That's okay. Come in, come in boy!" I said in on of my random accents. Tyler giggled and brought in all of his camera equipment. "I can help set up!" I offered. "Thanks." He said, while pulling out the lighting equipment. "How do you make your lighting look so good? Your skin looks perfect!" Tyler asked. "I just got skill like that!" I joked. Tyler laughed. "Just turn then in an angle." I told him. "Oh! How stupid of me!" Tyler laughed. I taught him how to set up his lights like I do. "Okay so you take the light bulb and twist it like this."
I carefully gave instructions. "Oh, like this?" Tyler reached his hand up and it landed on mine. My stomach did a backflip. It felt like electricity running through my body. Tyler probably didn't feel it though. I turned around, with his hand still on mine, Tyler was staring at me. With a look on his face that I can't explain. "Um..uh. Yeah. Then you shine the light, barely touching your face." I said quickly. He wasn't paying attention. "Your eyes are pretty." He said. My breathing hitched. "Uh, mine?" I asked. Tyler's eyes widened. "Sorry! I didn't mean to say that! It just slipped." Tyler's face turned red. "It's okay. You have pretty eyes too." I grinned, in reassurance. He smiled. I looked back at his hand which was still on mine. "Whoops! Sorry!" Tyler said. "Don't apologize." I mumbled.
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Skinny Love (A Toey Fanfiction)
FanfictionYou know that feeling, when you are constantly self conscious about your actions. When you think your last lunch is about to come back up. Or when your forehead and palms get clammy and sweat seems to break through your skin? Well, that's how a YouT...