My Mistakes Were Made For You

A Certain Romance

'Wait, let me clean the dishes,' I suggest, after we finished our desserts. Not that I like it so much, the opposite. It's just that they have cooked for me and that I can stay here this weekend... At least I owe them the dishes.

'How sweet!' Penny says. I try to put on a nice smile, but I feel so terribly awkward. So I just start gathering the dirty dishes, turn on the tap and watch the flowing water. Fortunately the family leaves the kitchen, so I'm alone.

I still can't believe what has just happened. Or what's still happening, I don't know. I feel like I'm in a dream and I can't wake up. That might sound peaceful, but maybe it is actually quite scary. Meeting Tawney's familily already sounded scary as fuck, and that was not even close to the real scaryness level.

I've imagined it so many times: what would I do when I would meet Alex Turner? But I didn't think it was ever going to happen, so I just let it be. If I would have seen him perform live I would already have freaked out! And now... What the hell do I do?!

As my thoughts drift away, my hands lose the grip on a cup and I drop it.

'Fuck!' I curse. Hoping no one has heard it, no idea why, cos it's not that I'm ashamed of cursing, I stoop to grab the shards.

'Need some help?' I make a strange noise, because Alex is suddenly standing behind me, grinning. He sits down next to me on his haunches and he touches my thigh very briefly. So briefly, I'm not even sure whether it really happened or whether I made it up. He helps me, even though I haven't said I wanted him to. Because I didn't. Nope nope, can't be real.

With shaking hands I put the shards in the bin. I feel so embarrassed. Because of the cup, but also because of my shaking hands and my red cheeks.

Alex smiles politely. Help! Is all I can think. My eyes focuss on his lips. My heart is pumping in my throat. My lungs burning in my chest. I wish he'd look away, this look is killing me. I giggle, which sounds rediculous. He gives me a crooked smile and I melt.

'I can do it on my own from here,' I say. He looks at me like I said something insane. 'No really... What's so funny?' I blush.

'Nothing,' he chuckles. But he still helps me. 'Nice shirt by the way...' Alex mutters, he points at my black shirt with the letters Led Zeppelin on it.

'Thanks... D'you like them?'

'Who doesn't?' He says. Of course, stupide question. There's the grin again. I'm wondering whether he knows how to make me crazy. Maybe he does. Maybe he's just figuring it out. Maybe he isn't aware of it at all. No, I can't cope with that, that's simply impossible.

Alex slowly leans in and I panic. What is he doing? What does he want? What does he want me to do? Why is he doing this? Oh my god. Breathe. Breathe.

I feel very stupid and clumsy. While his face is slowly approaching mine, he gently puts his hands on my waist. My body is filled with excitement and, most of all, confusion.

'D'you know, you look really beautiful?' He whispers. I can't imagine what je means with that. He can't be serious. He must have said it to a thousand girls, at least.

'Are you even real?' I say confused. 'You can't really be here...'

He appears to find that really funny.
'But what if this is real?' Alex smiles.

'If it is real... Well, then Alex Turner is flirting with me...'

'Would you mind?' He asks. His eyes don't let go of me, while he walks to the countertop.

'Not at all...' I feel myself finding enough confidence tot flirt back. No idea how.

'It seems real...' I say. 'I would like it to be real...'

'It is real, baby.'

Alex POV
Funny how she struggles in my presence. I wonder what had happened if I wouldn't find myself in this position, if I wouldn't be Alex Turner from Arctic Monkeys, if I wouldn't have that effect on girls because of my fame. It would be harder to get their attention. But from a certain vieuw it would sometimes be easier, cause right now I have no idea whether it's my fame she's interested in, or if it's really about me. Probably my fame. She doesn't know me. She knows the Alex Turner that I am on stage. She doesn't know my real personality. Does anyone? Does he exist?

I don't know what it is about this girl, but I feel like I have to get to know her for some reason. As if she has something more to offer.

I realise I'm automatically flirting with her, even if I try to behave normal. Usually it's more of a forced flirting, not this natural. Perhaps that's what made me thinking.

I spend the next day watching Tawney and Jolene talking on the couch, while my parents and grandparents are away, and I watch a movie with them. Sometimes Jolene peeks in my direction. Every time she notices my stare, it gets weird and I feel a little embarassed. Strange. Flirting has never been a bad thing. I hope Tawney hasn't noticed.

We end up drinking whiskey in the living room and talking about crazy stuff. I'm glad it's getting less tense.