Am I Inlove Or What?

Forgiveness

I woke up in the middle of the night i texted Tyler.
"Tyleeeeeeeeeer" signifying i wanted him right away. He asked me if i could come out i told him yes.
There was a group of bushes behind my yard and i agreed to meet him there.
When i got there Tyler was already there i ran towards him lapped my arms around his neck and my lips were all over him i just wanted to do it there, but i wanted my first time to be special, not in some ugly bushes.
Looooool.

I told him i had to go because they would suspect something if i was gone for so long.

When i got home i just realize what i did, it was now my mind was on God and what  he would do to me.
And so i prayed asking for forgiveness.

I was so scared to go to church  because i didnt want any body to pick up in the spirit that i almost fornicated. And i didnt want anybody jumping around me.

But anyways i went to church i sat at the 3rd row of chairs. I tried my best not to get in spirit cause i was afraid that the elders would pick me up.

Sigh................

Church was over and i was so glad that no one had pick me up in the spirit i continued to ask God for forgiveness which he gave me.

I said that i wasnt gonna do something like that again.
...
(2 days later)

I went to see Tyler because his family was having a barbeque and he invited me.
When i arrived there they were all in the back yard talking and laughing.

I walked up to them "Good evening" i said and they all responded.

Tyler took me by the hand and we went under a tree where there was a bench, i sat there and Tyler laid in my lap .
We were talking and all when the men that works for him came there and said they needed a minute.

"I'm sure you can say anything infront of Tiv" he said laying in my lap.
Dawn that felt good am special i thought with a smile. They asked for a raise of pay and all but he didnt accept their proposal.

............
They went away and we sat there talking,  remembering things from years ago.
It was getting late and i had to go to church because it was prayer meeting.

Tyler wanted to kiss me but i couldnt, i had prayer meeting and God already forgave me i dont want to do the samething again i didnt want to sin again.

I hugged him and he was pulling my face towards his but i told him no.

He got upset and stopped talking to me .
I told him i was ready and he followed me to the gate.
By the time i reach the street light my phone began to ring.
When i looked it was tyler.
"Hello" i said.
"So im the only one who wants to do this, when i want to do it you dont want to but if you want to do it i must, it cant work like that" he said.
"No Tyler, your cousins were watching us and we were in an open area didnt want to do that in public" i said.
"Make sure" he said.
And with that he hanged up the phone.
.......
( 7 hours later )

Prayer meeting was a blast but Tyler didnt show, i wonder why.
Tyler has always been full of excuses, my head is hurting, my belly is hurting, i was busy. etc...

When i got home i texted Tyler asking him why he didnt come to church.

"My belly is hurting me", he replied.
I said ok and we started to talk about our relationship and how we gonna get through with it.
But i fell asleep

The next morning i woke up i saw that Tyler was calling me about 4 times, then i remembered we were suppose to go for a run.(i wondered where that would leave us).

Sigh....................

I was home doing the dishes when my phone rang, when i took it up it was Tyler i put the phone back down and then took it up again.
"Hello" i answered.
"Come at your gate" he said. (Tyler drives and Audi a black one)
I was so shocked suppose my dad was home.
I quickly went out there to him.

"Why are you avoiding my calls ", he said with a angry look on his face, that freaked the hell out of me.

"I was asleep when you called and i've been busy from morning"
I said to him.

He said ok and gave me a small kiss and he told me he wanted us to go on a date.
I agreed for this wednesday coming and with that he went home.