Love in the Air

Chapter 9

The long silence is broken by the doorbell ringing. "I should get that," I say quickly. "Why don't you... come around and you can come inside." I'm still half asleep and have no idea what the heck just happened or how to respond.
Should I lie and tell him I didn't get it? If I tell him I got it what should I say then?
Thoughts rush through my head and I have no idea what to do. I finally get to the door and open it and find Hongbin standing at the door with a boutique of flowers with a little note sticking out that's said "sorry."
"You guys know it's not necessary to bring me stuff in order to get my forgiveness right?" I mutter.
"I wanted to get them for you," he smiles. Just then I see Taekwoon come around the corner and stop when he sees Hongbin.
"What are you doing here?" he asks a bit aggressively.
"I came to apologize to Rigi for last night," Hongbin spits back at him.
"Guys... Calm down. I accept both your apologies. Would you like to come in?" I feel a little awkward getting caught in the middle of this but there's not much I can do.
"Sure," they both say stoically. I grab a vase and fill it with water while the boys find their way to the living room. I walk back to them, put the flowers in the vase and place it on the coffee table in the living room.
"Here are your rice cakes," Taekwoon murmurs as he hands them to me.
"Thank you." I pick one up and take a bite. It's probably one of the best rice cakes I'd ever had and I shove the rest of it in my mouth. "Taekwoon that was delicious! I should get angry at you more often so you can make me more."
"I can make you some whenever you want." He smiles at me and I remember why he's here in the first place and I suddenly don't have an appetite anymore. I look from his sweet face to Hongbin's and know that if both of them were to ask me right now, I wouldn't be able to say anything.
"Rigi. I was hoping to talk to you in private but I don't think I'm gonna be able to do that. I think you know why we're both here," says Hongbin softly as to keep me calm.
"Yes. I wish I had an answer for you guys but I don't. I.... I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings...." I trail off.
"Rigi... I know this must be hard for you but you should know that even if you don't choose me, I'll still be your friend," Taekwoon says earnestly.
"Yes. We'll still love you but one of us wants to have a shot at being more that just a friend." Hongbin looks at me with an almost pained expression on his face and my heat keeps dropping further and further.
"I don't want to come between any of your guys' friendships either," I say almost desperately.
"You won't." Taekwoon looks from me to Hongbin, "he's been my friend for a long time. If you choose him then I'll be glad you have a great man by your side and glad my friend has a wonderful lady by his."
Hongbin smiles and puts an arm around Taekwoon, "aren't you the greatest friend a guy could have. Thank you hyung. Same goes for me."
I run my fingers through my hair in frustration and when they stop halfway through I realize there's only one reason it's so tangled.... I just woke up and I look horrible. I jump out of my seat and yell, "why didn't you guys tell me I look like crap?!"
"What...?" I hear them ask as I run into the restroom. I wash my face and the left over make up from last night, brush my teeth quickly and pull back my hair. I run to my room and throw on and decent looking clothes so I'm not in my sweats any more. I compose myself and walk back into the living room where Hongbin is reaching for a potato rice cake.
"Yah. Those are for Rigi," Taekwoon says sternly.
"You can have one Hongbin," I mutter as I fall onto my seat. Hongbin makes a face at Taekwoon as he picks one up and shoves it in his mouth.
"Mmhh hyung it's delicious," Hongbin says with a full mouth. Taekwoon shoots him a death stare before they finally look back at me.
"Rigi... You look pretty even when you've just woken up, you don't have to wash up for us." Taekwoon's eyes and voice soften as compliments me and the blood rushes to my cheeks.
"Thanks," I smile awkwardly. I sigh and sit up, straightening my shoulder, "well... I know why you guys have come here but I don't have an answer for you yet. I'm gonna have to think about it before I get back to you."
"That's alright, we can wait." Hongbin looks into my eyes and smiles before standing up and stretching upward and revealing his abs, "alright hyung, let's go," he sighs.
Taekwoon looks from Hongbin then to me. He takes a deep breath and stands up. I stand up too so I can walk them out but before I can move, Taekwoon grabs my wrist and pulls me into a tight hug. I hold my breath in shock, it's not something I'd expect from him and I don't know what to do. I finally inhale and can't help but close my eyes. He smells so good and his strong arms feel so comforting. He finally lets go and says, "I'll see you later Rigi." Without another word he steps out of the room.
Hongbin also looks shocked but he recovers and steps toward me. "Will you finally give me that dance sometime soon?" he coos. "I'll see you later," he gives me a quick hug, winks at me and takes off after Taekwoon yelling, "hyung~~ wait!"
I don't bother walking them out and simply collapse onto the couch. What. The. Hell. Those jerks are just messing with me now.
I sigh and decide I need to just take a shower and think. When I finally come out, mom tells me I have another visitor. Uuuuugggghhhh...
I step into the living room and find Hyuk sitting on a couch fidgeting with his fingers nervously. I clear my throat to catch his attention.
"Oh Rigi," he stands up quickly and then smiles. He bows a bit with his hands stiffly at his sides, "hello."
"Hi Hyukkie," I say lightheartedly in an attempt to make him more comfortable. "You can sit down."
"Ah thanks," he sits down and pats the space beside him so I can sit there. I take the seat and he takes a deep breath before turning his body to face me, "Rigi-ah... I know my hyungs came to talk to you today and I know they confessed to you. I don't know what they said or how you feel but I thought that I just need to tell you.... I like you."
I turn my head down, close my eyes and allow myself to take a deep breath. I look back up at his adorable face looking back at me almost pleadingly. "Hyuk... I'll tell you what I told Taekwoon and Hongbin, I can't give any of you an answer just yet. I have to think about it a little bit. I like being with all of you but I just don't know if I'm ready for any of this. I'm sorry..." I trail off, still not sure if calling him oppa is appropriate. I grew up in the states and never had to deal with all this "oppa" "sunbae" crap. Maybe calling him oppa would be leading him on?
He just smiles softly and leans in a bit, "it's okay, Rigi. I'm sorry if we're making this difficult on you. I'll wait for your answer patiently. I'm just happy I finally got to tell you."
"It's not your fault Hyuk. Thank you for being patient. Honestly, when I first realized you and I weren't related, I was relieved because I thought I was being a creep for thinking my cousin was so handsome," I laugh.
Hyuk chuckles and finally seems to have cheered up a bit.
"Do you.. want to watch a movie or something right now?" I ask.
"Well we have a concert tonight so I should get going soon but we wanted to ask if you want to come," he says.
"Oh... That'd be a lot of fun actually. Do I get to go backstage?"
"Of course. You'll be with us the whole time," he smiles and squeezes my hand assuringly.
"I'll ask my mom," I reply.
"No need, I told her all about it and she said she's fine with it as long as you want to go."
"Okay then, I'll go." I smile at him and he looks at his watch.
"I guess I could spare maybe half an hour," he says as he wrinkles his nose.
"Let's watch an American show then yes?"
"Let's watch the Simpsons!"
"What's up with all of you and the Simpsons," I chuckle as I set up the tv.
After just a few minutes into the episode I can tell he's struggling internally. I try to glimpse at him without giving away the fact that I knew something was up. He starts to raise his arm up slowly and rests it up on the couch and I know he's trying to put his arm around me. I'm not sure what I should do but after a split second of courage, I grab his arm and put it around me. At first he seems surprised and to be honest, I'm surprised too. He finally smiles a bit, relaxes and adjusts his arm while pulling me closer. After the rest of the episode, he looks down at me and tightens his grip on me to give me a side hug.
"I should get going now. See you tonight Rigi, we'll pick you up at 5 okay?"
"Sure. I'll see you later." I walk Hyuk out and then go into my room and try to pick something out for tonight. Should I try to dress up a little bit since I'll be backstage? It's only going be us and the makeup artists and stuff... I decide to dress up anyway since it's my first time doing something like this and I don't want to be dressed in just jeans and a t-shirt while they're going to be dressed up and looking amazing. I find one of my favorite skirts, pull out a tank top and pull a cardigan over. Heels or flats...? Heels or flats...? I'll take heels and put flats in my purse in case I get tired. I get my makeup ready but it's still too early to start getting ready so I go out, eat something and do whatever I can to kill some time.
It's finally 3:30 so I decide I'll start getting ready. I pull on my clothes and make sure it all looks good. I experiment with my hair for twenty minutes but finally decide just to comb it out and leave it down. I put on some light makeup and I'm ready by around 4:15. I pull out my phone and text Hyuk asking them if I need anything.
"Nope. Just yourself," he replies.
"Okay. I'm ready so just tell me when you guys are ready to go."
"We don't need much since we'll be getting ready over there. Do you want to go out and get some bubble tea with me before we go?"
I hesitate for a little bit before finally replying, "sure."
"Okay I'll meet you outside."
I walk out and Hyuk is already standing in front of my house. He's wearing black slacks and a white button up, though it's simple I can't help but think how good he looks.
"Ready? Let's go," he smiles.
I hop down the steps and we take off toward the store, not too far from the house. We're barely taken a step when Jaehwan pops most of his body out of a window and yells, "hey! Where are you guys going?"
"We're gonna get bubble tea," I yell back.
"Oh oh get me taro!" he shrieks.
"Nope," Hyuk and I reply in unison.
"Hey!" he cries as we walk away. Once we get to the store we order our drinks and as I'm about to hand the money to the cashier, Hyuk quickly pushed me out of the way and pays for all three drinks.
"Hey... Let me pay for mine at least," I say, feeling guilty.
"No. I got this," he throws the drinks in the bag, winks at me and turns toward the door.
"You forgot the straws, wise guy," I laugh.
"Details," he scoffs, trying to play off his mistake. We walk back towards the house this time more comfortably.
"So where is this concert anyway?" I ask.
"It's a small venue by a park not too far from here," he says. "Why?"
"Just wondering. I've never been backstage before," I say.
"Really? It'll be fun then, we'll make sure you're taken care of," he smiles and then reaches into the bag and grabs my drink and hands it to me. I stick my straw through the plastic seal and just the thought of bubble tea makes me happy. He sticks his straw through his and we spend the rest of the walk just strolling, pondering and drinking out tea.
Once the house is back in sight, Jaehwan pops his head through the window again and yells, "did you guys get me something?!"
"Maybe!" I respond.
Without hesitation, Jaehwan leaps out the window with surprising agility and comes running toward us. "You did get me something!" he says happily as a child does when his parents bring home a toy. Hyuk and I chuckle and the three of us walk back into the house.
"Oh you're here?" Wonsik says.
"Yup, we're here and ready to go," Hyuk says.
"Good. We should be heading out soon. Guys lets go!" Wonsik says.
"Coming~~~" Hakyeon sings. He leaps into the room, hugs me and runs outside.
"What was that," I laugh.
"He's excited," says Wonsik. "Manager Park is at the venue already, let's go." As Wonsik passes by me he whispers, "take shot gun."
I don't question it and follow him out with the rest of the boys following not far behind.
Wonsik opens the door for me and I hop in as the Hakyeon protests, "that's my seat!"
"It's Rigi's now," Wonsik chuckles. He closes and door for me and runs around to take the wheel. I turn and give a pouty Hakyeon a toothy smile. Wonsik connects his phone with an aux cord and hands it to me saying I can pick the music. As we drive I ask them about their career, how it's been going and what songs they'll be playing so I can play them on our way so I know them a little better. Everyone is talking and singing and I'm reminded why I love being around these boys so much.
We finally pull up behind the venue and there are already tons of screaming fangirls who must know it's their car since the windows are so tinted. "Uuuhh Wonsik...." I say nervously.
"Don't worry. They won't do anything to you, just put on your sunglasses and walk out with confidence," he assures me. I nod, put on my glasses and take a deep breath. "Ready?" he asks.
"Yup," I say still a little uncertain.
"You'll be fine, we're all here," Hakyeon says.
"Let's go," Wonsik opens the door and leaps out of the car, handing the keys to a man so he can take it. I get out and see the rest of the boys coming out alongside me. The girls scream madly at the sight of them and I feel extremely awkward standing in the middle of them while the girls take pictures. Jaehwan smiles, waves and blows kisses at them. The rest smile and wave but start to walk forward and I try my best to walk confidently beside them. I avoid eye contact and once we make it through the doors, I finally feel like I can breathe.
"That wasn't too bad was it?" Hongbin asks.
"I guess not. Just definitely not what I'm used to," I reply.
"Okay let's go to the rooms and go get ready. Rigi, we'll show you to our lounge room where you can wait for us while we get ready okay," Hakyeon says.
"Sure." I follow them to the room and sit on the couch and make myself at home.
"We'll be right back," Hyuk says.
I sit on the couch and look around. Moving to Korea turned out to be a lot better than I had expected it to be. I get to hang out in a VIP room and wait for some good looking guys to take me backstage with them to their concert. I smile to myself and try to entertain myself on my phone while I wait.
"We're back!" Jaehwan yells as he burst through the door a while later. All of them are wearing white suits but don't have shirts under their blazers. I try not to stare but it seems like such a strange outfit but looks so good. "Do I look amazing?" Jaehwan asks me while making a "seductive" face.
"Sure," I say sarcastically. "What time do you guys go on?"
"In about twenty minutes," Hakyeon says.
"Do you guys still get nervous before shows?" I ask them.
"A little bit. Not as much as before but I just want to do well for the fans, I'm mostly just excited though," Hongbin tells me.
"That's awesome. It must be fun to be a performer," I say.
"We love it. We love are fans just as much if not more," Hyuk says. I keep asking them questions about fans and what it's like being an idol when a lady comes in and tells them it's time to get on stage.
"Let's go!" Wonsik says.
We file out the door and I grab onto Taekwoon on our way out. "Wait where do I go?" I ask nervously.
"Just follow us, you'll be by the stage so you can still see us but no one can see you, okay? You'll be fine, don't worry," he says. I waddle out behind them and when we get to the side of the stage so they can get on the lights go out and everyone in the theater screams. The screen plays a little intro before it goes completely dark again and the boys run out and take their positions.
"Enjoy the show," Jaehwan whispers as he passes me.
"Stay here and watch us, tell anyone if you need anything okay? We told them you're with us," Wonsik says.
Once they're all in their positions the music starts, the lights suddenly come back on and they start their dance. Oh I know this one! It's the one I choreographed. Chained up. I think so myself. I'm surprised to see how they all went from being so playful and fun to intense and even sexy in a matter of seconds. Even Jaehwan looked very serious. They do a few songs, running on and off stage to change, high-fiveing, smiling or patting me on the shoulder each time they pass. Jaehwan even blows kisses a few times. Once they've been one for about an hour and a half, they stand in a like and Hakyeon takes the microphone. "I hope all of you have enjoyed tonight's show!" The crowd roars and he waits for a little bit before speaking again. "We prepared very hard for today and we will continue to work hard. We have one special surprise for all of you today." Again the crowd goes wild and he lowers his microphone.
Wonsik takes a step forward and says, "recently, we have made a new friend. Our friend is talented in many ways but she's shy."
"She did a dance cover of Chained Up before she even knew who we were," Jaehwan exclaims. "I don't know how she didn't know us!" he laughs.
"Her cover was great and tonight we want to perform it for you," Hongbin says. As they speak, I blush uncontrollably and begin hyperventilating a little bit.
"Rigi," Hyuk turns his head toward me. "Would you like to join us?"
I shake my head no rapidly. I put up a hand and take a step backward.
"Oh please?" Jaehwan says. "Who wants to see her dance it with us?" he asks the crowd. Again it roars with screams but I know I wouldn't be able to stay composed in front of so many people.
Taekwoon and I make eye contact, he nods assuringly and says, "our friend is very shy so she will not be dancing with us tonight but we will perform the dance for you."
The music starts and they take their formation and do my dance. I don't know how to react and everything but them is drowned out in my mind. I watch intently and think about how much they must have practiced because they must not have had a lot of time to learn the dance. How did they even get it? Freaking Jenny... Well.. They actually look really, really good doing this dance...
Once the song is over they pant a little bit and go back into their line. "Did you guys like that?" Hakyeon asks. The crowd cheers and I blush again.
"That was a dance by our newest and best friend, Rigi," Hyuk says. They then say their goodbyes to the crowd since it's time to end the show and they run off stage toward me.
"What the heck was that?!" I say as soon as they're close enough. I hit Hakeyon on the shoulder because I know he must have been behind it all.
"Hey! They all liked it! We did it for you Rigi," he says indignantly.
"We wanted to show you how talented you are. The choreography is awesome," Hyuk says.
I bite my lip and and look down. "Thank you," I mutter.
"Next time you can actually dance with us okay," Hongbin says playfully. I look up at him and he smiles at me. I give him a small smile back and he laughs, then pulls me in for a hug.
"Ew let go, you're all sweaty," I screech as I try to push him off but that only makes him hug me tighter.
Jaehwan seizes this opportunity to yell, "group hug!" Him and everyone else hug jump into the group hug so I'm stuck in between 6 sweaty boys. I have my arms stiffly at my side and my head up trying to breathe. Once the hug is finally broken I wipe myself off as I give them a dirty look.
"We love you Rigi," Wonsik says.
"I love you guys too. Now go clean up or whatever so we can go home," I say.
"Let's go," Hyuk says and bounds down the hall toward their dressing room. I go back into the room they showed me to before and sit waiting for them to come back.
Hyuk comes in a few minutes later wearing black jeans and a sweatshirt. He sits on the couch across from me, "Rigi... Do you... Do you have an answer for me yet?"
"I-" I start before I get cut off my Hongbin bursting through the door.
He looks at both of us and sits next to Hyuk. "I this about..."
"I just asked her if she had an answer," Hyuk tells him.
"Well... Do you?" Hongbin says, turning his attention to me.
"Guys I really-" again I'm cut off as Taekwoon opens the door.
"Oh this is wonderful," I mutter to myself. "Taekwoon you can sit there with them, you're probably wondering the same thing anyway." He sits down and I breathe in deeply. "I'm sorry guys but I really can't choose between you three like this. I like all of you but if there's even the slightest chance that I'll hurt any of you, I'd rather just continue being friends with all of you."
"Rigi, I know this must be hard but I don't think any of us can continue like this," Hyuk says.
"We can't make you choose but I think Hyuk is right, I'm not sure how our relationship would progress if things continued the way they are going," Hongbin said with a pained expression on his face.
"I don't want to lose you guys but I can't choose. And you're right, you can't make me choose," I retort. I said it sternly but I can feel myself getting becoming very upset and nearing the verge of tears.
"We won't make you choose. I'll do my best to always take care of you no matter how much it breaks my heart that you aren't mine," Taekwoon finally says after a long silence from him.
"Of course we will but we all know that will eventually put a strain on the relationship," Hyuk whispers. Taekwoon looks toward him and breaths in as if he were about to speak but instead slumps into silence. I realize what this means and the knot in my throat tightens.
"I'm sorry," I murmur. I hang my head, letting my hair fall in front of my face. I feel the tears welling in my eyes but I refuse to let anyone see them so I quickly excuse myself and run out the door.
"Rigi-" I hear Hyuk mutter as I leave but I don't bother turning around and I zigzag back stage until I find a quiet little spot under some giant metal structure. I climb up and it on one of the railings and bury my face in my hands. I can't help but cry a little bit until I curse myself for being so stupid and crying over some boys. I try to tell myself they're just boys but I know that they care so much and are unlike any boys I had ever met.
I am able to stop the tears and calm my breathing but I keep sniffling as I lean my head on the railing and wipe away the last of the tears on my face.
"Are you okay?" I hear from right behind me.
"Oh, uh, yes Wonsik, I'm okay," I stutter as I try to clean my face and stop sniffling.
"You don't sound okay," he says.
"I'll be okay," I reply.
He climbs up and sits right next to me. "You sure you don't want to talk about it?" he asks.
"No it's okay, I'll survive," I try to sound sure of myself but I know he doesn't quite believe me.
"Okay... So, did you like the concert?"
"Nah," I wrinkle my nose and give him a funny look.
"Hey," he says laughing while "threateningly" raising his hand. I chuckle and finally manage to stop sniffling. I tilt my head to look at him again and give him small smile. I'm glad to know he's around to make me feel better whenever I'm feeling down. He holds my gaze until we simultaneously realize we've been staring into each other's eyes in silence for far too long. "You feeling better now, then?" he breaks the silence.
"I guess," I mumble.
"All thanks to me," he says with a cocky tone.
"Not even, I cheered myself up with my own joke. I'm hilarious."
"Hey- yeah I guess you're right...." he slumps onto the railing turns his head to me again with pursed lips.
"There you guys are! It's time to go, I'm tired," Hakyeon whines as he enters the room.
"What time is it?" I ask.
"It's passed midnight," he replies.
"Oops.... Guess I'm not getting any sleep tonight," I chuckle.
"You can sleep in the car," Wonsik utters as he jumps off the railing. I cringe at the thought of me falling asleep and leaning my head on one of the boys I've just had a depressing conversation with.
"Take shotgun again. I'll give you my neck pillow," Wonsik reaches his hand out to help me down but as I let go of the railing to grab his hand, I lose my balance and fall off. Before my mind can even register what's happening, I've landed in Wonsik's arms. "Are you okay?" he asks, looking down at me with a concerned face.
"Yeah... I'm okay," I say quickly and release myself from his embrace. I try to shake off the embarrassment but when I look up at Hakyeon, he's staring at me with eyebrows raised and a small smirk on his face.
"Well then... Let's get going," Hakyeon finally says before taking off toward the exit. Wonsik takes my wrist and runs to the car as quickly as possible and opens the passenger side door for me.
"Thanks," I mutter before climbing in.
"No problem, Miss Rigi," he says politely. I lean my head on the head rest and inhale deeply. Wonsik goes to the back, pulls out his neck pillow and then jumps into the car to hand it to me. I thank him again and I pull it on and lean my head on the side and close my eyes. After a while the rest of the boys pile into the car but the air seems more tense than usual. I decide to pretend I'm asleep so I don't have to deal with the awkwardness.
After we've been driving for a while Wonsik finally breaks the silence, "so do any of you guys know why Rigi was so upset earlier."
There was an awkward silence again and I kept my eyes shut but my ears wide open. "The three of us told her we liked her. We tried to make her choose..." Hyuk finally replies.
"How could you guys do that. Leave the girl alone, I'm sure she's having a hard enough time adjusting to this whole new place without having three idiots fighting over her!" Wonsik makes his voice much more stern but keeps it low enough as to not disturb my "slumber."
"I know it was stupid. We feel horrible," Hongbin says.
"I tried to make her feel a little better but some of the things Hyuk said was right so I couldn't fight it," Taekwoon explains.
"You guys should have known better," Jaehwan says in a somber tone. It was one of the first times I had heard him sound so serious and it broke my heart a little bit.
I decide I should stop eavesdropping and I groan a little bit before rubbing my eyes and looking around.
"And the sleepyhead has arisen!" Wonsik exclaims as if nothing had happened. I purse my lips and blink a few times before asking how close we are to home. "We're about 20 minutes away so you can take another nap if you want," Wonsik answers.
"I think I'm okay," I say. "Jaehwan oppa?"
"Yes?"
"How do you manage to be so silly and childlike in real life but so serious and... well.... sexy in concert?"
"My dear Rigi, you have much to learn. I can teach you sometime," he says as he leans forward. I see I'm wink in the mirror and I roll my eyes.
"I shouldn't have even asked," I say in the most monotoned voice. The next few minutes we spend listening to music; no one spoke the rest of the way and simply stared out the window like some kind of dramatic scene in a movie. When we finally get home, I'm the first one out of the car. I run to the other side and hand Wonsik back his pillow. "Thank you oppa," I say.
"No problem. See you later," he seems to hesitate about something for a little bit but finally leans in and gives me a hug goodnight. I'm taken aback a little bit but the hug felt so sincere that I decide to accept it and I hug him back.
"Goodbye," I say as we break the embrace. I give everyone else a quick side hug and say my goodbyes before running home as quickly as possible. As I enter my house I look toward their house one last time and don't quite know what to make of anything that happened tonight. I decide not to think about it and I go straight to bed.