Fermi's Folly

The Pilot

I cursed as the engine coughed, and spit putrid oily liquid into my face. Stumbling back, I wiped my slimy hands on my jacket, and glared at the engine. The blasted thing had broken after my last trip through subspace, and now I was stuck on this backwater planet on the edges of charted space.
Sighing, I decided to take a short break from fixing the blasted contraption. After all, I had been working on it for the last few days or so. I wasn't entirely sure, as the time was different than what I was used to. I could have checked my clock, but it was buried under a pile of assorted Martian junk I had picked up on my last trip. Taking a short walk, I stuck my head into the kitchen area, to see if there was anything to eat. Spying a bowl of fruit, I stepped inside, and grabbed a few pieces.
I was in the middle of considering how to get off this star forsaken place, when I was brought out of my musing by someone shaking my shoulder. I turned my head to look at the figure, and sighed.
"You should really stop reading all those strange books, Uchuujin. I think they put too many weird ideas in your head." The person I had addressed just gazed silently down at me from the ceiling. Yes that's right. She was stuck on the ceiling, upside down and clad in some sort of strange black pajamas. "What are you supposed to be now. Wait, don't tell me... a... ninja, was it?"
Uchuujin nodded, and dropped from the ceiling, landing rightside up. She was about as tall as a normal child. Four foot something. I hadn't bothered to measure in awhile. Not that she would have let me. I think she was tired of me treating her as a child.
"You're thinking something insulting again, aren't you. Meanie," Uchuujin declared, with all the anger of a thousand short people trying to intimidate someone taller. "I haven't been a child in ages!"
Another voice cut into the conversation, with the sarcastic remark of, "Well, you sure act like a child, Uchibi."
I mentally groaned. Uchuujin hated being called that.
"What was that!" Uchuujin turned and glared at the newcomer. "I dare you to say that to my face, Abraham!"
Abraham, the newcomer, just grinned at her. He was tall, even taller than I was, and I stood at a good average height. The black leather coat he wore just added to the intimidation factor. All in all, he looked like your common delinquent scum. Well to be fair, I suppose he was until I picked him up. I had found him as a child, and attempted to raise him with some manners. Unfortunately, it seems I was not as successful at getting him to drop the attitude as I would have liked. Abraham did a brilliant job of demonstrating my thoughts, as he looked down at Uchuujin, the annoying grin still plastered on his face. "I would, but I don't think I can bend over that much. Perhaps you should try growing? Maybe be a good little girl, and drink your milk?"
With a growl, Uchuujin's hand started twitching, and a dark aura seemed to envelop her.
Sighing, I bopped them both on the head. Not an easy task in Abraham's case. Having gotten their attention, I turned towards Abraham first. "Now Abe, you know you aren't supposed to tease Uchuujin. You were once short as well, remember. I certainly do." Switching my gaze to Uchuujin I addressed her next. "And you. Violence is not always the solution."
I shrugged and scratched the back of my head. "But I suppose it's reasonable that you are both a little bored sitting around in here. You know what, how about we go for a short walk, yeah? Loosen up, get a bit of stress out?"
Abraham thought about it for a few seconds, then nodded, as did Uchuujin. We all left my ship, and I fumbled around in my many pockets to find my keys. Uchuujin just sighed, being used to this by now.
"Do you have a pocket for every hand?" She grumbled at me.
I just rolled my eyes back at her. "No, only every other one, give or take a couple hundred. More so take than give."
Abraham stretched his arms above his head with a grunt, and grabbed a bat that was lying next to the door. Uchuujin snorted. "Still using that archaic thing? I mean, really. A bat?"
This would most likely get out of hand, just as all their arguments did, so I decided to step in. "Come on, both of you. Complain later, when I'm not around. Right now, I really don't need another headache, got it?" I said, looking pointedly at both of them.
They both glared at each other, before sighing and relenting. I grabbed a random plas-rifle from the rack, just in case we ran into the local wildlife, and we all began to make our way in a random direction.
We had been walking for about an hour through some relatively dense forests, before we came across something. It was a primitive vehicle, and it appeared to have been attacked. This was evident from the multitude of holes in the sides of the vehicle, as well as the large amount of broken trees, and trampled greenery. My curiosity piqued, I motioned for Uchuujin and Abraham to stay where they were, and I went to investigate.
Prying open the door, I peered around the inside. More holes covered the inside, and the seats were stained crimson. I looked into what appeared to be the backseat of the car, and blinked in surprise. A native of the world lay, his head carved in by some sort of primitive projectile.
A sudden noise from the other side of the vehicle made me jump backwards in surprise. I stepped back out of the car to see what it was, my finger testing the trigger of my rifle. Just in case. It was unnecessary, as it was just another dead native. The native, the male, had been hard to make out in the shadowy interior of the vehicle, but this specimen was much more visible, as he was lying in a pool of light that filtered down through the dense tree cover.
Like the other native, this one was close to my height, but that was where the similarities ended. He was clad in some kind of cloth weave of sorts, but wore a type of combat vest as well. Quite different to my coat, which was comprised of living metal and was, I have no doubt, much more effective than this strange jacket the native wore. The male gasped, and jolted upright, making me step back. His eyes darted around quickly, taking in his surroundings. Spying me, he reached his arm out, pitifully.
"The girl! Where is she? I need to..." With a gasp of pain, he slumped to the ground, and I knelt beside him.
Pulling an adrenaline shot from a pocket, I injected it into the native, and his eyes opened again. He looked like he was going to say something, but I held up a hand.
"First of, you're going to die. I don't have anything that can save you, and the adrenaline will only keep you conscious for another few minutes. So, what is your dying wish? If it is within my power, I'll fulfill it."
"Please. There's a girl that was with us. She should be nearby. Find her. Save her." The native gazed pleadingly into my eyes, and would have said more, but the rapid crashing of some sort of vehicle rumbling towards us interrupted him. "Go, quickly. If I'm to die, I might as well go down fighting!"
I nodded, and turned away from the native. He pulled some sort of primitive gun out of his jacket, and turned to face the rapidly approaching vehicle. Breaking out into a sprint, I headed back towards where Uchuujin and Abraham were waiting. Suddenly my foot caught on something, and I grunted, stumbling forward, and only righting myself at the last moment. Looking to see what I had tripped on, my eyes widened slightly in surprise. It appeared to be a young female. Most likely who the other native had asked me to save. That made things much easier. I had expected to have to look around for her, but now I had just quite literally stumbled upon her.
Picking her up in my arms, I began sprinting towards where I had been headed. I had barely reached the tree cover, when a small armoured vehicle erupted from the trees behind me. The driver evidently spied the native I had left in the clearing, as the vehicle screeched to a halt. Another native climbed out of the top of the vehicle, from what I assumed to be the entry point, and took aim. Two loud thunderclaps rang out at the same time and both the native I had spoke with and the other one, who had climbed out of the turret, slumped over. Even as he fell to the ground, the native pulled another device from his jacket. Yelling a curse of some sort, he pressed the button, and my world turned to pain.
I opened my eyes to see Uchuujin shaking me awake. She was saying something, but with me ears still ringing I couldn't hear her. Even if I had I wouldn't have answered, as I was still staring at the sight before me. Where the crater had been previously, was now only a crater. In the middle sat the burning wreckage of first vehicle I had come across. Off to the side lay the other. It had been torn apart by the explosion, with an entire side carved in. I could just barely make out the broken bodies of those who had been inside the vehicle. A sharp pain in my cheek snapped me out of my thoughts.
Uchuujin was glaring at me, her arm raised to slap me again. "Did you hear anything I just said, idiot?"
Shaking my head, I spied the girl who I had promised to save. I picked her up again, and began to sprint back in the direction of my ship. Uchuujin and Abraham were taken somewhat by surprise, but followed me as best they could. They both looked like they had more questions for me, but I shook my head. I would explain later.
From behind I could hear the snap of trees and branches, as more of vehicles undoubtedly searched through the forests for whoever it was I was carrying.
We made good time, but had to come to an abrupt halt as soon as we broke through the forest cover. Staring straight as us was a line of the vehicles, all the same as the one which I had watched be destroyed. Each one was manned by at least one person, all pointing their primitive guns at us. Someone who looked like a commander of sorts stepped forward.
"You there! Surrender the girl, and we will let you live. Resist, and we kill you."
I sighed. Really, I hadn't wanted to get into a fight with the natives of this planet, but it seems that they gave me no choice. Still holding the girl, I raised the rest of my arms towards them, and the natives backed up in fear. I grinned. Apparently they hadn't expected that. Judging by what I had seen, natives of this world only possessed one pair of arms. Quite unlike my hundred or so. Focusing intently, my hands burned with Void energy, and with a shout I pushed.
A shockwave hurtled outwards, tossing all those who stood in front of me aside like nine-pins. From behind me, more of the vehicles burst forth. I just motioned to Abraham, and he turned towards them, hefting his bat as he did so. With a warcry, Abraham charged towards them. He reached the first vehicle within seconds, and brought his bat down on the front. The vehicle crumpled like a tin can, crushed in a trash compressor. Abraham's next strike sent the disabled vehicle flying towards one of the others. They collided, and both exploded in a brilliant fireball. Even so, I just shook my head. As usual, Abraham had lost track of his surroundings. With a sickening crunch, he was launched into the air as one of the vehicles slammed head on into him.
He bounced on the ground a few times, before rolling to a stop. The vehicle closed in on him again, but it was not nearly fast enough. With a roar, Abraham shot to his feet. and slammed both arms down on the vehicle, crushing it to the ground. Then he shifted, his face elongating, with his limbs stretching out into thick sinewy trunks, and a massive pair of scaled wings erupting from his back. Rearing up on his back legs, he opened his mouth. An inferno billowed forth, consuming all that stood before him. The very earth was scorched black as the night.
Satisfied, Abraham shrank back to his normal size, a good seven feet or so, and walked back to us. "Well, that was fun. We should get into more fights."
"That you'd just lose." Uchuujin muttered, her tail swishing back and forth agitatedly.
Abraham turned and looked down at her. "What was that, Neko-chan?"
Uchuujin's ears flattened against her head, and she pulled a knife from her sleeve. "What was that?"
I just sighed. It would be best if they just got it out of their systems now. Deciding to do something productive, I walked over to the person who had appeared to have been in command. I found his body, battered and bleeding from a multitude of injuries. I picked him up, and lifted him into the air.
"Well? Talk. Tell me, who are you, and why are you after this girl?" I asked, motioning to the girl I held in my arms. He just struggled, staring at me in fear.
"Get back, monster!"
Well, it looked like I would get nothing of use out of him. Deciding to take the faster route, I forced him to look into my eyes. Psionic energy lanced outwards into his mind, blasting it apart. After a few seconds, I tossed the lifeless corpse aside. He didn't know much, but at least I had a basic understanding of this place. It would be useful, as I expected that we would have to stay here for a while longer. I turned back to Abraham and Uchuujin, and waved them over.
Together the group headed back towards the ship. We took a few detours, just in case we were being followed, but luckily I didn't notice anyone or anything. We finally made it back, and I set the girl I had been carrying down in one of the spare beds. She chose this exact moment to wake up again. Staring around her, she looked at me questioningly.
"Who are you?"
I smiled beneath my helmet. Searching through my recently gained knowledge, I finally found an answer. "My name is Deasurelius. I appear to have crashed landed on your planet. And what a lovely planet Earth is. Well, regardless, I  believe I am what you humans would call an alien."