The Evolution of a Drowning Butterfly

Chapter Ten

I hurried to the back of Clementine's and sat on the steps, tears fading away. I sat there and reflected on what I had just heard, witnessed, said. She didn't know how I felt. She didn't know.

She was going to have another child that I would have to take care of. I would, not her. She may in the beginning, but then she would just go back to her old ways, and I would be stuck with three kids I didn't want.

Jay pulled up in his truck. I grabbed my purse and slid into in the passenger seat, looked out the windshield, and burst into tears for the second time that morning.

Jay slid me across the bench seat into a tight embrace.

Once I'd gotten myself under control, he let me go, and I scooted back to my side. To my surprise, he didn't ask questions, he just drove. At first, I didn't know where he was taking me, but then I recognized the path. He was taking me to the park where we met for the first time.

He parked. I stepped out, taking deep breaths of the fresh air of nature.

"This is where I found you when you seemed upset the first time," he said, "I thought maybe it was your escape."

I just looked at him. Who was this guy? Why could I trust him? I had never truly trusted anyone outside of Dad. Why Jay? And why now?

Noticing that I hadn't and wasn't going to speak, Jay continued, "I think everyone has an escape place where they can free their mind. Be comforted. Whatever they need. Mine is the stables."

I couldn't say anything. The park wasn't my escape, but I didn't want to ruin the moment.

He led me over to the bench, but I took my solace on the ground below it and looked up at the trees that provided a cover from the eyes of the sky.

Jay stared at me, letting me have my moment to breathe, release stress, whatever I needed to do.

Tears rolled from my eyes to my cheek and then silently dripped to the ground, dampening the earth beneath me.

Once I had calmed down, and my tear ducts were completely exhausted, I stood up and sat on the bench beside Jay.

"You don't have to tell me what it was about. But I would like to know more about your life eventually," Jay stated looking at me intensely.

"My mom is--," I started, but found I couldn't finish, so I just shook my head. I probably looked completely grotesque with puffy eyes, a runny nose, and mussed hair from the ground.

"It's okay," he said smiling.

"Do you want to go home?" he asked, staring at me like I was a broken toy he needed to fix.

"What home?" I asked, sadly chuckling.

"I see," he said, but I didn't believe him.

"He didn't understand. He would never understand. He may say it is, but his life could never be as screwed up as mine," I thought.

"Well, let's see if we can find you a home," he lit up, radiant with a new idea.

I was confused, but followed back him to the rusty truck anyway. He helped me in and then we drove, the park and my hopes diminishing, becoming smaller and smaller.