Little Steps of Faith

The Wait

THE WAIT
Saturday
Sunday
Monday and Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Finally Friday!
Whoever said waiting was a patient process?
Exactly! No one
I wonder where the famous 'wait patiently' phrase originated from.

Sitting alone doing nothing and my mind would drift to last Friday, and how coming Friday would be.
Secret smiles and unconscious ones I didn't even know I wore.

Washing with my sister and I would just burst out laughing.

Pastor preaching in church and I would find myself smiling.

Cooking with my sister and I'd let out an anecdote from that Friday.

Watching a movie and a beach scene takes me back.

My sister thought I was crazy to arrange a meeting in this day and age without verification and re-corroboration. I agreed, in a way, but I would never admit it to her.

How could I admit to her that underneath all that excitement I had a few fears, too. Like
What if you were just trying to be nice, and didn't really mean for us to meet again?
Or if you did mean it, what if you forgot about our meeting?
I didn't even know your real name!
... Or did I?
You never confirmed it.

Besides we always have a way of making things look better than they really did, people look better than they actually do and good memories seem better than they really were.

Well. I was not going to dwell on negatives.
What if my fears were yours as well?
So I made a conscious effort to shake it off whenever the thought came to mind.

It worked.
Until Thursday night when my mind wouldn't stop going wild imagining and my heart wouldn't stop racing with expectation.
I even dreamt of you when I slept
and it was a total disaster, complete opposite of all I'd never dared conceive with my mind all I had. Quite a way to start my Friday.

I made the mistake of telling my friend at work about THE MEET and got teased mercilessly all week. Friday was the worst.
She also thought I was bold but sweedy, I know better. It was a one day thingy.

3pm couldn't come soon enough. I was sure the wall clock and my wrist watch were tired of catching my eye. Got home just in time for a shower and change of clothes(with fashion criticism from my little sister) and a conscious-effort-10-minute-lateness headstart, just in case you were late, too.

And my brain wouldn't stay still.
Would you be waiting or would you be late?
Did you remember or did you forget?

From across the road I begun to search for you with my eyes.
You can't imagine my relief that couldn't hold back the smile when I spotted you. I'll admit though, it was mainly because I wouldn't have to endure my sister's and friend's mockery.
And 'unmainly' because I was looking forward to a good relaxation after a tense week.

Halfway crossing the road and our eyes met.
Why did you have to notice me just then? I froze.
I thought it was in my mind only, I didn't realize my body did too, until I heard a car horn beep loudly in my ears and make me jump slightly.

Then an embarrassed me run the rest of the way across to a laughing you.