Reminiscent

'I don't tear your pages from my life story.
I fold the corners and reminisce the highlighted text.'
- J.S. Parker

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Guilt

A slow poison which slowly and gradually does its work of killing you from within, shattering you from inside ; leaving you into a complete mishap.

The more you think of it, the more lethal it becomes.

The more lethal it becomes, the more reminiscent it is.

A few glasses of scotch was all it took for me to reminisce about the guilt which has been building up inside me for 5 years.

5 years, 9 months and 4 days

Time flies and all this time, I had been fighting with myself to move on.

Trying to rise up but still drowning into the guilt of not having her by my side.

A small painful smile makes its way on my face as I think of the first time I met her.

Auburn curls curtained her face as she walked nervously in her baggy clothes.

All eyes were on her.

All judgemental eyes, scanning her from head to toe and scrunching their faces in disgust.

A disgust is what she was in the eyes of the society - an overweight disgust.

Someone in the crowd even shouted - 'Who is that fatty!' and the whole school hallway was filled with nothing but laughter as every teenager and even a few teachers mocked her.

Except me.

Tears pooled her eyes as she shivered nervously while I eyed her with something else whirling in my mind.

And it was anything but disgust.

I took a sip of my scotch - the ice-cold liquid burning my throat.

The same burning sensation I felt in the pit of my stomach on that day when I saw her on the bleachers where she sat all alone, tears trailing down her chubby cheeks.

She didn't notice my presence beside her until I placed my hand on her shoulder.

She shivered at my touch and lifted her head and to say I was mesmerized would be an understatement.

Warm, brown chocolate eyes glistened as she stared at me, her cheeks turning into a lovely shade of red - a perfect complement to her beautiful eyes.

To stare at those beautiful eyes was a mistake, a mistake which I would gladly repeat every time.

Not after a second, I did the next mistake of looking at her plump lips.

She nibbled her lower lip and I wished I could be the one doing that.

Eerie!

That is what I thought on that day as I shook my head as if it would lead me to forget what I had been thinking about her.

I resumed my gaze on her and saw hurt flash her eyes.

Good way - staring at someone's lips as if you are going to kiss them and then shaking your head like a bobblehead.

She immediately stood up from the bleachers as it made a screeching noise because of her weight.

And those chubby cheeks turned scarlet as she started jogging away and all I could do was stare at her derriere with a smirk on my face.