One By One

Lies

How many times do you have to hear it?
The sign that everything they just said to you,
Was a Lie.
Their voice cracks.
They swallow hard.
They talk at a higher pitch than normal.
Whatever it is,
You're not fooled.
You know that it's just talk.
That it couldn't possibly be true.
Even without a sign,
You know better that to trust their words.
Because what they speak is so crazy,
You can't help but laugh at their stupidity.
How could it be true that they care?
How could it be true that they think you're attractive?
How could you ever believe that someone like them could ever love someone like you?
It's insane, right?
And it doesn't really matter who they are.
They could be a moocher off the streets and you still would think their too good for you.
Because all your life,
All anyone has told you is that you're worthless.
That no one could ever love you.
And those who don't say it,
Show it.
She said you could be friends,
Then she found out you're a nobody.
He said he wanted to talk,
Then he found out you were boring.
He was the other half of your genetic material-
The one man who should have always been in your life-
And he walked out on you.
The person who made you,
Didn't even want you.
He hated you so much that he chose something else over you.
Sex.
Drugs.
Alcohol.
Himself.
Whatever it was,
He chose it over you.
He even went so far as to push you away.
He would say that you're pathetic.
That you will never be treated with kindness.
That your destined to be shit on,
Over and over again.
And soon,
You begin to believe it too.
You decide that it's easier to just accept his words,
Rather than try to fight it.
He made you,
So shouldn't he know what you're worth?
And apparently,
That's not a whole lot.
And the bad out-weighs the good so much that even if someone were to say they care,
Say they love you-
Even of you believed them-
It would never change the way you think about yourself.
Because no matter how hard you try.
No matter how long it seems as though your confidence has improved,
If someone were to call you worthless-
No matter how much you would want to try and come up with some kind of a comeback-
You would freeze.
You would revert back to when you were younger and you will shut down again.
Walk away,
And cry.
Because in the end,
No matter how hard you try.
You will never be able to be normal.
Never be able to believe in yourself.
Believe in others.
Because all anyone else ever does,
Is Lie.

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Yeah i know, everything I write is sad. But hey, that's what goes on up in my fudged-the-hell-up noggin' so ehh, get over it. But I will try to make the last chapter somewhat happy. Key word: try.

Have a great day!

-Sheelah-