You're Killing Me

Why

*Jake*
She's gone just like that. She left me all alone. She's never coming back. I'll find him. I'll make him pay. I'll find out why.

My best friend, my world, my one and only is gone. I'll never see the way she smiled again. The way she laughed. The way she spun around when she was given a compliment. The way her hair smelled of candy. Her collection of stuff animal's. Her not so funny sense of humor. Her golden eyes. Her happy go lucky attitude. How she always saw the best in everything, and never sawt to see the worst. Always turned the other way in an argument. Never letting someone she didn't feel was worth the work make her work for something. Changing the mood or bringing my smile. My partner in crime. My right hand since I was 6. My sunshine. Gone.

She could change an atmosphere in seconds. She could make something so small so big.

I sit at the edge of her bed crying my eyes out. She had been missing for 3 weeks before she was found and they found her 2 days after she died. The indescribable horror of identifying a loved ones body. Knowing you were the one they called at night when they couldn't sleep. Knowing they loved you. Knowing the one you love is gone is complete misery. She wouldn't want me to cry, but I can't help it. This room still smells of her. Nothing has been touched. Not the clothes from the day before she was captured, still sitting in a ball right beside her bed or the layed out clothes for the next day on her desk on the other side of her neatly made bed. How the candle she had left burning has almost burned out. How the book she laid open is still sitting on her night stand. I sit just thinking of every time I've been with her. Every time her beautiful soft lips touched mine. How she hung her QT work badge on the back of her lamp. How organized she was. Oh and how she was never late for anything. How she always brightened my day.

I leave her room and walk away. I walk away to find him. I can't live without knowing I found the one who made her suffer. Then maybe, just maybe will I smile again. But for now I'll cry, I'll walk out crying, because kat is worth crying for.