Fleeting

08.

And when we locked eyes, it felt like for the very first time, I was really seeing him.

The words, when finally uttered, were spoken with no finesse, no beautiful harmony, no poetic prologue. They held no second, hidden meaning. They didn't flow from your mouth to my ears as if carried by a gentle breeze. It wasn't carefully planned or previously thought about. There was no big event. There were no fireworks in the sky. There was no long thought out monologue.

No, it was none of these things. In fact, I'm sure you said them by accident.

When the words were finally spoken, it was raw and incongruous almost. Like the words did not fit into the equation that was you and I. It was slightly disharmonious in a sense. Had the words taken a physical form, they would have been cracked and frayed, faded along the edges. But the words, when freed from your lips, had a truth to them that could only be found down in the most honest part of a person. It came from your soul. They dug deep down and uprooted every secret, every unspoken word and laid them bare for both of us to see. They absolutely tore me open and pulled from me every silent message I'd ever sent you.

They were words that shone with the brilliance of a diamond. Laid bare and naked, with nothing to offer but itself. The natural beauty of it all caught me off guard because in no way was that how I was expecting the words to come. I had been imagining some large, planned out. . . thing like in the movies. Maybe a dramatic display in a public place.

But you were you. And I was me. So I don't know why I expected anything huge because our entire time together consisted of secret moments that belonged to you and I alone.

Just as those words could never mean anything to anybody but us.

"I love you."

And you sounded so doubtful, yet when I looked at you it seemed as if they were the truest truth you'd ever spoken. The look in your eyes said that despite your garbled speech, your feelings for me were solid. In your eyes, I saw a reflection of myself. I got to see myself through your eyes for a split second and what I saw astounded me.

When I look at myself, I see the same plain features I've had to live with my entire life. I see a young college student struggling to keep up with everything. I see a girl who questions everything about herself, who needs reassurance in everything she does.

But in your eyes, I saw a completely different person. The dull brown eyes I was used to were gone, and in their place were a pair of deep, hypnotic, pools looking as smooth as melted chocolate. I saw a woman sure of herself, who knew what she wanted and was willing to go after it. I saw a woman, confident in every aspect yet humble. In your eyes, I was absolutely radiant.

And for a moment, I wondered if you could see yourself through my eyes, and I wondered if you saw the same brilliant man I saw everyday.

And for a moment, I realized that if I saw myself as you saw me, I would love me too. I realized that the same reverence you held for me was the same reverence I held for you, and if that was love then dammit, I loved you with all my heart.

So the words, when finally uttered, were spoken with no finesse, no beautiful harmony, no poetic prologue. They held no second, hidden meaning. They didn't flow from my mouth to your ears as if carried by a gentle breeze. It wasn't carefully planned or previously thought about. There was no big event. There were no fireworks in the sky. There was no long thought out monologue. In fact, I'm sure I said them by accident.

But they were said, in a way that only you would understand. In that language only you and I shared. They were raw and frayed, but they were my truth to you.

"I love you too."

[A/N]

I think there's two parts left. . . give me two days max to perfect the next part and the story should be posted right after, I promise!

As always, please vote and/or comment
-Livia :)

Written on: April 13, 2016
Posted on: September 26, 2016