The Boy with the Blind Eyes

TWELVE

The next morning at breakfast, Tamsin sat at her usual table, with her usual group of friends. Something felt different today as she took her seat across from Angus, something internal that had shifted. She couldn't identify the feeling. She didn't recognise any of the sensations that came upon her when Angus spoke or accidentally brushed his fingers against hers.

Whenever the jolt of electricity passed through her, Tamsin ignored it. Maybe something was wrong with her; maybe it had nothing to do with Angus at all. It was a ridiculous notion to blame something like electricity charging through her skin on Angus. It must have been something internal, Tamsin decided.

She ignored the senseless jibber-jabber that morning as she buttered her overcooked toast. Biting into the ash-like consistency of the burnt bread, Tamsin placed it back onto her plate, disinterested and dissatisfied. Not only with the toast.

She was finding herself more and more annoyed at Lina, who was focused solely on her trivial and so-called 'stolen' belongings. The campus police hadn't identified anything unusual about their dorm, or find any signs of forced entry, so, for the time being, the matter had been swept aside. Lina was outraged with their negligence, but Tamsin thought it was right of them to dismiss it. They had bigger, more profound issues to deal with—like the occasional stalker following a student back to campus. What was a matter like Lina's against a matter of a student's life in question?

Tamsin gritted her teeth and bit her tongue as Lina launched into the unfairness of her life. She'd been doing that a lot lately, summoning patience when Lina was causing her to run out. There had been times when she'd become too close to being angry with her. Tamsin knew deep down that she didn't want to be annoyed at Lina, not really. It was just that with everything else going on, her temper was short and her patience was shorter. She was a bomb ready to explode.

'And I was like, "no sir, it's not my fault," and then he was all, "excuse me miss",' Lina scoffed. 'I mean; how stupid can you be?'

Tamsin inhaled slowly and released her breath sharply, causing a few people to turn their heads. She gave a weak smile in return, hoping it would be enough to reassure them she was okay.

Brett, who was sitting next to Tamsin (as he had been since her mother's accident), slung his arm around Tamsin's chair and laughed. 'Ba!'

Lina's eyes narrowed into slits. She was being extra sensitive lately. 'Something funny, Fuller?'

Brett's hands raised in surrender. 'Hey, don't go all touchy on me now, McCartney. You on your period or something?'

Lina's cheeks turned scarlet and even Tamsin knew Brett had crossed a line. 'Shut up! You don't know anything about it.'

'Hey, I know girls. I talk to girls. I've had sex with girls,' he bragged.

'Like you,' Violet nudged Lauren before realising her monumental mistake. Lauren's spoon fell to the table, her mouth slack, her eyes conveying the mortification we all knew she must have felt. Violet slapped her hands across her mouth, genuinely alarmed.

Muted, shocked glances were exchanged before Tyrone skilfully changed the subject. 'Anybody seen the new slasher film lately?'

Blake, from the other end of the table, shuddered. 'I can't even think about those kids of films,' he laughed, his voice high and squealy. Tamsin caught sight of his hand holding Lauren's under the table, reassuring her. Tamsin knew Blake and Tyrone were gay and together, but she didn't know Lauren was. She hardly cared, though. Each to their own. Although, maybe coming out would have been a smoother transition for Lauren if Vi hadn't blurted it out to the whole table.

When Tyrone and Blake's attempt to change the subject failed miserably, tears welled up in Lauren's eyes. 'Excuse me,' she whispered, making a direct beeline to the female toilets nearby.

Everyone was just looking at each other, surprised and speechless. Lina threw her arms up. 'For fuck's sake, Violet! Now you've gone and done it, haven't you?'

Violet was holding back tears of her own. 'No! I didn't mean to! I swear! I just—I can't keep my mouth shut!'

'Darn right you can't,' Lina hissed. 'You have to go and screw everything up, don't you?'

'Stop it, Lina!' Tamsin yelled. Angus, who had been uncomfortably silent this entire time, sighed, as if disappointed in everyone there, and stood, leaving the table. Tamsin ignored him and fixed her glare on Lina. 'Why are you being like this?' She demanded.

'Like what?'

'So bitchy!'

Lina slammed her glass of water down on the table. The anger in her eyes was unmistakable. 'I think I'm finished,' she said quietly, leaving the table.

Ali, who was down at the other end of the table next to Violet, Quincy and Lynn, shook her head. 'Shame on us all.'

'Oh, please,' Brett snapped. 'Not all of us here are exploding.'

'No, just the majority,' Ali sighed gently. Tamsin had never seen her lose her temper. She quite liked that even in total chaos, Ali could remain level-headed. When Ali stood, so did Violet, Lynn and Quincy, following her out of the cafeteria and probably into the Hub—a nearby chill room that was like a mini arcade.

Now there was only Dixie, Thea, Blake, Tyrone, Camilla, Johanna, Leif, Brett and Tamsin at the table, sitting in contented silence.

'Well,' Dixie piped up suddenly, her soft Southern drawl cancelling the silence, 'anybody else need to leave?' Tamsin knew Dixie meant it sarcastically, but she pushed away Brett's arm anyway, got out of her chair and left, tears finding their way into her eyes. Hamilton wasn't meant to be like this. It was meant to be different. Home was like this—it was why she'd left in the first place.

---