Kissing You

Kissing You (5)

Chapter 5

“And that’s why I smile

It’s been a while

Since every day and everything has

Felt this right

And now you’re turning it all around

And suddenly you’re all I need

The reason why I smile”

~Smile, Avril Lavigne

Will loves me. Will loves me.

I was dumbstruck. All this while… when he’d been carrying me under the stars… when we’d been playing cards… when he came and bandaged my hands that night… he loved me?

My heart filled with emotion like it was going to burst. Tears welled up in my eyes and spilled over. I didn’t know why I was crying, but I was crying.

“Oh-no, don’t cry, Katelyn. Shhh, I didn’t mean to hurt you this way.” He fumbled around for a tissue but I caught his hand. The tears caught in my throat and I choked on more tears. He put an arm awkwardly around my shoulders, rocking me back and forth. It was comforting, and I leaned into him, sobbing.

“Why are you crying?” he asked me, hand rubbing circles into the small of my back. “Shhh, don’t cry, Katelyn.” He sounded uncomfortable. He probably never had had to comfort crying girls before.

Just then, the makeshift door slid open and the rest of the gang filed in. Doug was supporting Pete, who grinned at me goofily. Apparently he was still under the influence of alcohol.

Davies cleared his throat and wobbled unsteadily on his feet. “Katelyn,” he began, belching at the same time, “We just wanted to apolo-“ burp“-gize for Pete’s-”burp”-behaviour just now when he tried to-“burp”-kiss Katelyn.” The rest of the gang nodded enthusiastically and agreed with Davies. I doubted they knew what they were agreeing with. Before I could say anything, though, Davies held up a hand for silence.

“And we also wanted to congratulate you, Will, for finally telling her how you feel.” The last word was a slur, and Will went red as a tomato. He opened his mouth to say something, but the gang already turned and shuffled out the door. We were left alone in an uncomfortable silence, broken only by my sniffling.

“So,” he said dully. “You heard it. I love you. And from this-“he gestured to my crying“-I think I can safely say that you don’t love me back.” He stood stiffly. “So I guess I’d best be going.”  I could see that I’d hurt him very much.

“Oh, Will,” I cried, and lunged at him, wrapping my arms around him and hugging him to me. God knows I’d wanted this for so long. He turned in surprise, looking down at me through those beautiful blue green eyes which reflected shock. He’d expected many things, maybe a reprimanding or a slap to the face, but me hugging him was clearly not one of them.

“Katelyn?” his tone was one of disbelief. I laughed breathlessly.

“I love you, Will,” I told him, eyes sparkling with happiness. And it was true, I did. I just needed time to realize it. This wasn’t just physical attraction, though there was lots of that too. This was real. And not high school real, when you had a boyfriend and you thought he was your life and you were making plans to go to a college near each other and you were saving up to buy a house and naming your future kids- this was real as in real real. I loved Will, and I would do anything for him. Even die.

I was a little bit dizzy with all that mind ranting, and I swayed. Will caught me easily, and I leaned into his chest, breathing in his natural lavender scent. Will.