Nine

1

The tv was still on. I never understood that. It was a trivial thing, dancing in the back of my head, rattling around trying to find stable ground. I never thought I'd leave the loud, busy streets of New York. And if I did not like this. Not like this...

"Emma promised skin tonight man so we gotta go soon."
"Tell me again why I'm forced to go to one of your sexcapades?"
"'Cuz it's a party Asher, something you've never experienced, God bless your soul."
I glare at Nathan but don't say anything. I bring the cigarette to my lips once again, exhaling out the open window. Nathan seemed to take this as a victory, his brown eyes starting twinkling with excitement. "Sweet," he said trying and failing to be nonchalant. He impatiently brushes the blonde hair out of his eyes. "Wait what about Fiona? Shit we can't leave her here by herself."
"Gloria's here." Fiona's babysitter when my parents weren't home. "And mom and dad will be home in a couple minutes anyway."
"Alright let's go dude."
Nathan climbed out of my window and landed on the concrete. He quickly straightened and resumed his usual swag slouch and douchbag walk. The front door of my house would've been totally a way to leave but Nathan hates doing things the conventional way. It makes him feel too ordinary. I put out my cigarette on the chipped ashtray on my nightstand (or so I thought) and followed Nathan rolling my eyes frequently behind him.

We walked to the subway station to head over to Queens and while there came across a naked middle aged woman with fruit scattered all around her while being arrested. I don't what was more peculiar, the fact that she was naked or the fact that I wasn't surprised at all to see this. I stayed a step behind Nathan as we walked to Emma' s red bricked two story house where the party had already started. Loud music could be heard from the driveway where clusters of people were puking, laughing, talking on the patio, hooking up in the bushes, or drunkenly hitting golfballs off the roof. My dream.

As soon as we stepped through the door, a flash of brown curls engulfed Nathan in a giant ass hug. Emma stepped back holding Nathan's hand, winked at me, and started leading him upstairs. Nathan grinned exuberantly at me and gave me a thumbs up. I showed him a different finger.

The music was pounding into my eardrums and I could almost feel myself go deaf. The cigarette smoke was in different sized clouds all over the house, a keg was on the ground next to the door and a pool table where people gathered to watch the beer pong match. Couples making out on the couches. People laughing and talking. I was never really good with things like this.

Emma's best friend, Jordan, sidled up to me like usual. She flipped her long, straight, dyed dark red hair over her shoulder and looked at me with her emerald green, almond shaped eyes (identical to mine) with what I guess she thought was a seductive look. Jordan and I have had a few conversations here and there, and don't get me wrong, she can be fun to hang out with sometimes. But most of the time, she's too much. Too much makeup, too much perfume, shorts too short, and shirts too low. Since Nathan and Emma couldn't go three hours without sucking face, me and Jordan were forced to come and bear each other's company.

Since it was a Friday, Jordan was still in her cheerleading mini skirt and sleeveless top. Secretly, I'm a little glad Jordan and Emma go to a different school than us.

"Hey Asher," she said sultry, pouting her lips slightly.
"Sup Jordan," I answered casually.
"So Emma and Nathan are getting it on upstairs, but there's a free bedroom....you want to take it with me?"

I know what Nathan would do in this situation. He'd be like, fuck yeah, and then put his arm around her and confidently strut to the bedroom. But since I'm in this position, he'd call me a pussy for not going. It's not that I'm not interested in girls, I'm just not appealed to any of them. Nathan says I'll grow out of it and I just need a good lay to put me on track.

I slowly nod my head and she actually looks taken aback. Probably because the sheer number of times she's tried to get me in bed would blow anyone's mind. Jordan quickly recovers and leans closer to me. "Let's go," she whispers. I put my arm around her shoulders but it just feels awkward and like I'm trespassing.

We go up the stairs where I can hear Nathan and Emma very loudly. I grit my teeth and go into the room across the hallway with Jordan. It must be the guest bedroom because they're no decorations. Just a dresser, nightstand, and white bed with a chair in the corner. The moon shines through the window and the party sounds dulled.

I sat on the foot of the bed and looked up at Jordan. She locked the door and slowly walked over to me. She put her hands on my chest and ran them up to my hair until she twisted them there. She came forward and straddled me. Leaning over she whispers in my ear, "Don't be nervous."

I try not to be. I put my hands uncertainly on her waist. She leans down her lips close to mine and I lean forward to meet her. Our lips start moving in unison  and it feels good because it's supposed to not because I want it to. She tastes like cigarettes. She slipped her tongue into my mouth and takes my left hand off her waist and unto her breast.

Fuck this isn't supposed to be so stressful. Just relax Greenland relax. But Jordan's cigarette laced tongue is invading my mouth and her hands are places it shouldn't be and I can hear people laughing and screaming and hooking up and I hear Emma cry loudly from the other room saying she's not ready and she's sorry and I'm right along with her I'm not ready either.

So I gently push Jordan off me and stumble to the door muttering "sorry, sorry." I cross to the room and I don't even care what's on the other side I barge in. Nathan and Emma are both naked but Nathan's holding her in her lap and stroking her hair as she cries. Emma screams when I walk in and I avert my eyes to the ceiling so they can cover up. "What the hell Asher?!" Nathan puts his clothes on and comes up to me. "What's your problem?!" I shake my head. "We need to go." Jordan comes out of the bedroom fixing her shirt because it had ridden up and stopped to look at us for a second before she went downstairs. Nathan sighed and understood. "Gotta go babe sorry." I stepped to the side to give them a moment.

My brain hurt and started pounding in my skull and I had an odd feeling it was moving my head. My eyes glazed and my stomach in knots, when we got downstairs and into the front yard, I joined the drunken idiots by puking on the grass. As I heaved Nathan patted my back.

We didn't mention any of this again. It was a quiet subway ride back home. Nathan was staying at my house tonight so we walked slowly to it from the subway station. We talked quietly about our math teacher, not touching the subject of what just happened.

In New York there was a lot of crime but for some reason our neighborhood was quiet and nothing ever happened. So when we heard fire trucks and ambulances close by and kids racing toward the sound on their bikes me and Nathan quickly ran after them hoping to see something worth seeing.

And then this happened....

Someone's house was being eaten by flames, the orange and red tongue licking it with no mercy. It was burning to a crisp and there's no way anyone in there could survive that. I was right as the fire trucks squirted water on the house and the ambulances loaded up three body bags that would most likely go straight to the morgue.

Some cop came out with a baggie that contained a used cigarette and declared that this was the cause.

I felt a wave of pity and sympathy for this family. And then I looked at Nathan. He was looking at me and his entire face looked completely destroyed. His mouth was agape and his eyes bulged. "I'm so so sorry Asher. I'm so sorry." He kept saying this and I didn't know why and now I'm starting to freak out a little so I look back at the remains of the house and the tv is still on playing an episode of Hannah Montana a show my sister loves and I look at the address of the house and I freeze.

Because that's my address.

And this is my house.