Nine

4

Eddie comes back into the room looking disgruntled. I quickly wipe the tears off my face but I'm sure he noticed. "We got to get back to Kroger. See you tonight." Eddie kissed Megan's cheek and got a pat on the back from Joe. He did the same for me and Megan kissed my cheek. I wondered what they were doing tonight and felt slightly jealous that they'd be together.

We got back in Eddie's car and it took a few minutes before the engine agreed to start but then we were back on the dirt road, presumably to Kroger.

Eddie twiddled with the radio until a sex pistols song came on. "I get off work in an hour and then I can show you some amazing historical sites of Eastman," he said slightly sarcastic but also in a slightly defensive way. As if daring me to say something negative about his home. I twisted my face into a fake smile.

"Do you see your aunt a lot?"

"I had only met her three times before. Her family stopped talking to her after she dropped out of high school and moved here."

Eddie nods. I have to remind myself that probably most people drop out of school here.

"How old was your sister," he asks softly.

"Eight," I whisper.

"So's mine. Evangeline."

"Are your parents around," valid question my dad's told me stories about the families around here.

"My mom is. She cares, and she tries hard, but she has to work a lot to support us. My dad left when Evangeline was two. She's been asking me about him lately. I don't really have the heart to tell her that he never gave a shit about us and used to knock me and my mom around. That he's an asshole and she'd do well to forget any traces of his existence."

Eddie took a deep breath and he suddenly looked a lot older than 17. "Hey listen man, I know it sucks right now. Your family, and having to move here. And I'm not gonna bullshit you it's gonna hurt for awhile before you can live with it. But the thing you gotta realize is the pain never goes away. You just make room for it." Eddie smiled slightly. "Everyone here has a semi shitty life. But we all learn to live with it. I didn't ask for the life that I was given and I know you didn't either. But nevertheless it was. So...get over it and just protect the people you love.  For me it's my sister mostly, I hope to God she doesn't end up like me. And my mom who can't hold it together for more than a week. Protect your family. That's my motto at least. Everyone here has something. Megan and Joe's is to appreciate everything you get and your aunts is basically that the world is against us. What's yours?"

My head is a kaleidoscope of burning houses.

Of laughing 8 year olds.

Of smoking cigarettes.

Of shitty trucks.

Of a perpetually tired woman who can barely look after herself let alone her mentally unstable nephew.

Of a young couple that doesn't have two dimes to rub together to support their baby, but smile and laugh anyway.

Of a teenage boy who's scared his little sister is gonna be like him.

Of pain.

Of sadness.

Of sorrow.

Of regret.

Of guilt.

My head feels like it's gonna burst.

Eddie looks at me understandingly.

He looks about to say something before a beep from the dashboard averts his attention. "Shit. We gotta stop for gas."

Eddie's number four.